Have your parents ever bullied you?

Federal Ministry of Justice and Consumer Protection

When is bullying prohibited and what can you do?

A stupid comment or deliberate jostling in the school hallway, that's how it usually begins. If the chicane becomes part of everyday life, it is called mobbing. If this happens to you, it will probably knock you out pretty much - no wonder. The word bullying does not exist in the criminal code, but lies, insults and beatings are forbidden and can even be punishable by law. Here you can read what your rights are and what tips will help you to defend yourself.

What exactly is bullying? A definition

The word bullying comes from the English "to mob". By definition, it means bullying, mobbing or surrounding. It can mean that an individual or an entire group makes hurtful comments, simply claims mean something, or is even violent. Also silence or Exclusion can be included by definition. If no one talks to you in school, you don't feel like you belong and it hurts. All of this is nasty the first time. It's called bullying when it's over you longer period happens over and over again. When you are greeted with a stupid saying at school every morning, when you are repeatedly put down while exercising, or when someone regularly makes your appearance look bad. One can do that quite well mental stress be for affected victims.

When is bullying prohibited?

The word “bullying” does not appear in our law books. The individual things that are understood by the definition, on the other hand, do. Physical violence is forbidden - so far, so clear. But where is the line between psychological violence and violence with words?

  • Your classmates (or teachers and other adults) must not insult you. If they say to you, “Did you fall on your face when you were born or why are you so ugly?” It could be an offense.
  • Defamation and defamation are also prohibited. Here someone is telling something negative about you that they cannot prove or that they even know is a lie. It doesn't always have to be direct bullying. The chicane can also take place online on the Internet, for example in social networks. Then one speaks of cyber bullying.
  • • If someone threatens you with a crime, for example with a piece of paper that says “Just watch out, or I'll finish you off”, this can be a threat according to the law.
  • Coercion is also a criminal offense and can exist if, for example, someone forces you to do something that you actually do not want or to refrain from doing something that you would actually like to do, combined with a threat or violence.

There is no general answer to everything that falls under insults, defamation, threats or coercion and when it is punishable. Various factors are always taken into account here. In case of doubt, a court decides. If someone takes something away from you, it can also be considered bullying. For example, if the perpetrator realizes that this will cause you problems at home. In most cases, however, this falls under blackmail.

Do you actually know what Max says about you? Really crude!!!

20:03

Sasha

No. What?

20:05

Martin

Would definitely explain why no one in my class has spoken to me for a week. It really sucks.

20:07

Martin

It's not the first time that Max tells SHIT about me!

20:07

Martin

What is Max talking about? Now tell me Sascha!

20:12

Martin

He says that when you play sports you go to the girls' locker room and smell their clothes.

20:14

Sasha

Is there anything wrong with the story? Or?

20:20

Sasha

No of course not! What do you think!!!!!!!!!

20:21

Martin

Sorry! That was just stupid of me. Florian from my class has already told shit about me.

20:22

Sasha

But what can I do?

20:23

Martin

Maybe you should speak to Ms. Schmidt sometime ...

20:25

Sasha

I just want him to stop ... What did you do when Florian told shit about you ???

20:34

Martin

I told him to stop, but that didn't help. At some point I'm not going to school anymore.

20:34

Sasha

The school called my mother. Then there was a class discussion. Florian stopped for a short time.

20:39

Sasha

I went to the youth welfare office and asked what I could do. They proposed a victim-offender balance.

20:44

Sasha

Martin

Florian and I went to a compensation office together. Everyone told how the whole thing went. Florian also said that his parents have just separated and that he is really bad.

20:49

Sasha

That's not an excuse!

20:50

Martin

Nah, but at least it made me understand better why he was telling shit.

20:53

Sasha

But what's the point of such a perpetrator-victim thing ???

20:55

Martin

We wrote down that he stopped telling stories about me, apologized to me and made sure everyone at school knew he was lying. We both signed that.

20:59

Sasha

But did that really help?

21:00

Martin

Yes. Otherwise I would have reported him too.

21:00

Sasha

Maybe I'll do that too.

21:02

Martin

First talk to the trust teacher or go to the youth welfare office.

21:05

Sasha

OK thanks. I just want it to stop quickly !!!

21:06

Martin

I totally understand. Get in touch if you need someone to chat!

21:08

Sasha

What are the consequences of school bullying for the victim?

Photo: Viola Corbezzolo / EyeEm / Getty Images

Bullying can be for those affected serious consequences because it causes massive stress. Victims of bullying attacks often suffer from low self-esteem, trouble sleeping, and fear of school. Withdrawal from friends, social isolation and even depression are also common. Other negative consequences are bad grades and generally declining academic performance of those affected. Again and again there are even cases where the bullied person is so helpless that suicide seems to be the only way out. But that is not the case!

Do you have suicidal thoughts?

Don't be alone with this! With the online counseling Youth Life Line you will find competent support - anonymously and free of charge.

Often your classmates do not even notice how much they are hurting you. It is often not clear to the perpetrators that their behavior has not been funny for a long time - if it ever was. If you set limits in good time, the chicane can stop quickly. But sometimes that's not enough or you miss the right moment to act. If you are a victim of violence or bullying by other students, there are a lot Offers of help to you. You don't have to go through it alone!

What can you do when you are bullied?

If you are bullied at school, first contact a teacher Teacher of your trust. There are different ways to solve the problems in school - this can be one, for example conversation or be a project in class. In many schools, teachers already deal intensively with the subject of bullying in the classroom. Your classmates should therefore know that their behavior can have legal consequences. It often makes sense for bullied students to get their parents to help. Talk to your school principal with your parents. So you can decide together which steps you want to take.

If none of that helps, you can talk to your parents about it legal action think. In any case, you should speak to an experienced professional beforehand. You can get professional help with problems from the school psychologist, for example. Also Social workers or counseling centers take time for yourself and your problems at school. You can find addresses on the help page.

How can you prove it all?

Photo: Steve Debenport / E + / Getty Images

Offenders must expect criminal proceedings if they can be proven guilty. Don't worry - you don't have to prove anything yourself as a victim, that's the job of the public prosecutor. But you can help make it happen. Namely by collecting things that might proofs could be. A good tip is for example one Bullying Diary, in which the victims write down as precisely as possible who said what, when and in which situation. If other children attended school, you could ask them to confirm what happened.

What happens to the perpetrator?

In the case of adolescents, the court assumes that harsh sentences do not necessarily help the perpetrators learn something and change their behavior in the future. First of all, it is important that the perpetrators realize what they have done. For this reason, the proceedings of juvenile offenders are often discontinued as part of the diversion so that there is no conviction at all. The definition of diversion means that in the case of minor or moderate crimes, the offender z. B. is imposed a certain number of non-profit working hours or is obliged to take a training course in which he reflects on his behavior towards the victim. This will avoid a heavier sentence, but the perpetrator is expected to come to terms with what he did to the victim of bullying.

tip: One possibility to end the proceedings can also be a victim-offender settlement (TOA).

The verdict is given only very rarely and in particularly bad cases Youth penalty, so prison

When younger children bully others

If the perpetrator is younger than 14 years, they are still considered children by the law and cannot be prosecuted. For this, lawyers can initiate civil law steps from the age of seven. This means that the parents are told how their child is bullying you at school and what the consequences are for you. Then they will receive a chargeable warning. This means that the parents have to sign that their child will leave you alone in the future and that they will have to pay money if their son or daughter does not comply with it at school. Should the parents If you do not sign this declaration, a court can order that the child stop bullying. If it doesn't, fines are possible here too, which the parents then have to pay.

Where can you get advice?

Whether criminal proceedings or TOA the right solution differs from case to case. If you are not sure, you can, for example, make an appointment with a youth counseling service on bullying in your area. Important: Be sure to seek help if you are being bullied. Getting help is not a snitch - and bullying can really kill you in the long run.