Why am I always betrayed 1

11 red flags people missed when they were betrayed

When an affair of the partner comes to light, many fall from the clouds. Few believe that the person they love and trust could betray them in such a painful way.
Often times, the warning signs only become apparent after the relationship has ended. Below, people who have been scammed have rounded up the biggest warning signs that they have overlooked.
1. You no longer have sex.
"When my husband told me he didn't want to have sex until our problems were resolved for him, I thought he was being polite. But it turned out that he was sleeping with his colleague during that time. To cut a long story short: He told me he didn't love me anymore but wanted to work on our marriage. I tried this for eight months only to find out that he had been in love with his colleague for months and was too cowardly to tell me. " - Jamie B.
2. The telephone is strictly taboo
"If someone guards his phone with his life, carries it around everywhere (and I mean everywhere), no longer answers the phone in your presence and forbids you to even touch it. Then he has something to hide. It is very obvious , right? Maybe, but I've put up with that for too long. " - Jane G.
3. He or she suddenly needs "distance"
“When our relationship problems started, I held on to it, tried counseling, and gave her the 'space' she needed. When she told me she was getting physical with someone, I understood the gravity of the situation believed she was unable to cheat or lie to me, but there was no question of belittling in order to take back a liar. - David F.
4. You don't go to bed at the same time
“The one sign I regret overlooked is that he no longer went to bed at the same time as me. It turned out he was obsessed with online cyber sex. I had him in our earlier years Caught twice but he swore he would stop. When I followed up, he said it wasn't going to happen again. When we finally broke up, he confessed to me that one of his cyber “rendezvous” was going on Developed into an emotional affair for a year. He had plans to see her when I was nine months pregnant, but he pinched. I divorced him last year. The betrayal only strengthened my decision. " - Mehgan B.
5. He or she is untrustworthy and unreliable
"When I was with my cheating (now) ex-husband, he often canceled dates at the last minute. He was very careful and unreliable at the same time. I made my phone glow to be in touch. We got together . Made plans. Cut plans. I broke up with him because of it and unfortunately later took him back. The truth is, it takes a lot of flexibility to manage a double life. When someone is incapable of doing things like coffee or a baseball game commit, then shoot him in the wind.
Why is their life so chaotic? People of good character are not unreliable. Your words are followed by actions. I've learned firsthand that scammers tell you bullshit, make promises, and overdo it with affection (love bombing). But their actions reveal something else - they are unreliable. Cool. Love one moment, ignore you the next. " - Tracy S.
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6. Physical fitness is becoming more of a priority
"My ex fathered a child with a friend during our marriage. At that time he was becoming more of a health and fitness fanatic. He suddenly increased his vitamin intake. Then one day I discovered an empty bottle of a sexual enhancer, with the label" King Kong "next to it his sports bag in the corner of his wardrobe. So much for the warning sign. " - Terri L.
7. When confronted, scammers have violent outbursts of anger
"I was with my husband for nine and a half years. Until it turned out he was never faithful. My inner lack of self-esteem and my willingness to put the belief that he was a" good husband "before anything else were stronger than mine Intuition.
The red flag I should have recognized was that whenever I confronted my suspicions, he got angry and defensive. He tried to turn the tables, blaming my lack of confidence. Instead of talking to me and being compassionate, I got the bad man. It became a habit. So I thought twice when the little clues popped up. He went to the gym one evening and when he came back his gym bag was exactly as I had packed it. He said, "Oh, I think you taught me to fold like you did!" Later his infidelity came to light. " - Johnny O.
8. For him, privacy is more important than anything else
“I was married for 16 years. He never stood by me and his children in front of his friends - like when the children were selling things for school and he didn't ask the people he knew. He didn't even want to be "friends" with me on Facebook and he changed his privacy settings so that little was seen. He didn't know that I had seen the messages he exchanged with a younger woman. " - Amelia D.
9. Business trips became more common
"Constant business trips were the alarm signal I had overlooked as a stay-at-home mom. There have been so many business trips - and before he left, he dressed up with a haircut, new underwear, and even a visit to the tanning booth. What What makes me sick today is that I offered him to iron his shirts, pack him bags with goodies, his favorite homemade pastries and even burned CDs with our favorite songs for his travel season. " - Janice J.
10. Suddenly he or she has other interests and hobbies
"In retrospect, one thing stands out. My cheating ex and I went on a trip to Paris together and our travel preferences seemed largely different. It's been years since we had three small children at home. But mine We basically found memories to be good for the same things.
This time, however, we were at odds with each other. I wanted to sip coffee in cafes and people watch; he wanted to sprint to every sight and museum. He pulled me with him until my feet were blistered. I tried not to get mad, but I got it. We were alone in the city of lights and love and I felt invisible. " - Tammy L.
11. The one who cheats makes the accusations.
"My first husband cheated on me. He invariably accused me of cheating when he was actually cheating on me. It was crazy." - Mandy O.
This text originally appeared in theHuffington Post USAand was translated from English by Jennifer Oberhofer.