Do you like bread
"Hi, do you like bread?": I haven't been able to flirt since I grew up
There are two types of colleagues. Those who like to chat extensively at the coffee machine. And those who reflexively hide behind it when a nice person from the other department heads for them with a need to speak and an appearance suitable for daylight. I belong to the latter.
You could call that introverted. But actually I am not at all. As soon as I'm comfortable, I have much more than the eloquence of a toaster. Instead, I bubble like a fully automatic coffee machine with all the baffles. Then a strange guy who vaguely resembles Adam Driver turns the corner, asks how I am and which floor I would actually be working on. I fix him with wide eyes. Then I look at my shoes, embarrassed. My gaze wanders back to him, just for a moment. Now I'm staring into my coffee. The uncomfortable silence that spreads between us is thick as fog. I have to say something now. The tips from this last podcast run through my head. Be easy! Be funny Just be yourself!
I take a deep breath: "Hi, do you like bread?"
The vibes between me and the bearded start-up version of Adam Driver are embarrassed. Then they disappear. He pulls up the corners of his mouth, de-escalating, and wishes me a nice day.
I'm twenty-eight years old and I have absolutely no idea how to flirt. If the continued existence of humanity were to depend on my harmless sayings about the opposite sex, we would be on the set of in no time at all The Day After Tomorrow. This not only happens in the office - after all, one of the most important get-to-know situations for couples and those who want to become one - but also at parties. Once I was frightened that it was my turn to watch my all-time favorite film (The Big Lebwoski) to tell, inhaled so quickly that I almost suffocated. This is my way of making flirty small talk.
At this point, the assumption that technical progress suits me is justified. After all, in chats you don't have to look each other in the eye or think about what to do with your hands and if you choke on answering, nobody will notice. Still, I feel just as weird as if I was facing the person live. As soon as the situation becomes real-time, I no longer function.
I consoled myself at regular intervals with the fact that I have already passed my high flirting phase - back then, in elementary school. Do you want to go with me?-I mastered notes on Diddl paper with ease. It's the grown-up around that makes me sweat. After all, it is never clear whether you are talking about your head and shoulders, having the very first conversation with your future soulmate or remembering the moment in five years when you answered “What's your name?” - “What's your name! “Replied.
I know that you can be more relaxed and yet appear relaxed if you convince yourself that you are relaxed and self-confident, even though you still know very well that you have the silent toaster inside you. I've learned that asking counter-questions can be a good strategy because all non-toasters enjoy talking about themselves - and sometimes asking the exact question that even the best answers and stories have to offer. So let's just start at this point: Hey, well, do you actually like bread?
- How profitable is options trading 1
- Are 144hz monitors really that good
- What is the relationship between teacher and student
- How does Shanghai compare to Singapore?
- What do Albanians call Serbs
- Which is the happiest pet animal
- Is food from China safe to eat
- Are related to Melanesians and Africans
- What languages do the Turks speak
- Why does stainless steel still rust
- How badly you practice personal finance
- Why is it never discussed in Scotland?
- How does Shanghai compare to Taipei?
- Should you get married or live alone
- What makes a lazy teacher?
- Why many Telugu people also speak Tamil
- Is Buckingham Palace London worth a trip
- What is the BOKA Vanguard
- How are math and art related?
- Why did you end a relationship
- What is a social innovation laboratory
- What religion is Donald Trump
- A woman can be 6 feet tall
- Women wear stockingless tights
- How can I marry a rich man
- Why was opium made in China
- Should SaaS companies outsource their demos
- What can I serve with Chicken Alfredo
- How does Chinese food taste without MSG
- What are the characteristics of Tigerwood Decking
- Which Middle Eastern countries like fat women
- How is life in the Comoros
- What are the best ergonomic keyboards