Have you ever been molested by a girl?

Sexual bullying and sexual harassment among teenagers! How can you help yourself

Sexual harassment can be a big problem for children and teenagers, especially when smartphones, online messaging, and social media sites make it easy for bullies to do their thing.

When bullying behavior includes unsolicited sexual comments, suggestions, insults, or threats to another person, it is considered sexual harassment or sexual bullying.

Here's what to know and what to do if you or someone you know is being sexually harassed or bullied.

What is sexual bullying and harassment?

Just like other types of bullying, sexual harassment can include comments, gestures, or actions designed to hurt, insult, or intimidate another person. Sexual harassment focuses on things like a person's appearance, body parts, sexual orientation, or sexual activity.

Sexual harassment can be verbal (like commenting on someone), but it doesn't have to be spoken. Bullies can use technology to sexually harass someone (such as sending inappropriate text messages, pictures, or videos). Sometimes sexual harassment can even turn physical when someone tries to kiss or touch someone who doesn't want to be touched.

Sexual harassment doesn't just happen to girls. Boys can molest girls, but girls can molest boys too, boys can molest other boys, and girls can molest other girls. Sexual harassment is not limited to people of the same age. Adults sometimes molest sexually as well (and occasionally teenagers can molest adults, although this is quite rare). Most of the time, when sexual harassment occurs in teenagers, it is carried out by people in the same age group.

Sexual harassment and bullying are very similar - they both involve unwanted or unwanted sexual comments, attention, or physical contact. So why name one thing by two different names?

Sometimes schools and other places use one term or another for legal reasons. For example, a school document might use the term "bullying" to describe what is against school policy, while a law might use the term "harassment" to define what is against the law. Some behaviors could violate school policy and the law.

However, it doesn't make much difference to the targeted person whether something is called bullying or harassment. This type of behavior is annoying, no matter what it's called. Like anyone who is bullied, people who are sexually harassed can feel threatened, anxious, and experience a lot of emotional stress.

Which behaviors count?

Some pictures, pictures, jokes, language and contact are labeled "inappropriate" if you are hurt or embarrassed.If any behavior or interaction makes you uncomfortable or upset, speak to a trusted adult.It can fall into the sexual harassment or bullying category.

Sexual harassment or bullying can include:

  • make sexual jokes, comments, or gestures to or about someone
  • spreading sexual rumors (in person, via text message, or online)
  • Writing sexual messages about people in public places (e.g. on walls or lockers, etc.)
  • Show inappropriate sexual pictures or videos
  • ask someone to send you naked pictures of themselves
  • Posting sexual comments, pictures or videos on social networks like Facebook or sending explicit text messages
  • Make sexual comments or offers while pretending to be someone else online
  • touching, touching, or pinching someone in a consciously sexual way
  • Pulling and deliberately touching someone's clothing
  • asking someone to keep going out, even after saying "no" (harassing)

Sending sexual messages or pictures by SMS or "WhatsApp" to relationship partners or good friends is also not a good idea for many reasons.

The pictures or texts can cause problems for you and the person receiving the text, especially if there is a quarrel and separation, some use these pictures and messages to harm each other.

In some cases, these messages can be viewed as harassment or bullying and have very serious consequences.

Also, messages or pictures that you want to protect privately can fall into the wrong hands and be used to shame, intimidate, or humiliate you. Even if you send the picture to someone you trust, your message can be forwarded to many other people or posted online for the world to see.

Forcing another person to do things he or she does not want to do, such as kissing, oral sex, or intercourse, goes beyond sexual harassment or bullying.Forcing someone to do sexual things is sexual assault or rape and it is a serious crime.

Flirt or Harassment?

Sometimes people who make sexual jokes or comments laugh and you might be tempted to do the same. What is the difference between flirting and sexual harassment?

Here are three examples of flirting against harassment:

  1. You and your crush have been flirting and you are starting to joke about sex.Your crush asks if you would ever do this. You say: "No way!" That is the end of normal flirting. But when your crush tries to get you to send them sexual pictures, it's called harassment
  2. Someone in class says your new jeans look good.That is a compliment. But if he says that your new jeans make your bum look awesome, or he makes comments about certain parts of your body when you don't want them to, then that's the limit. This is harassment.
  3. Someone who doesn't interest you asks you to go to the disco to dance with them.It feels too harsh to say "no" and not interested, so apologize. The person asks a few more times, but eventually gets a hint that you're really not interested. This is normal social interaction. But when the person treats you in a creepy way - such as hinting at your body or sending sexual messages to you. Or if the person keeps showing up where you are, or trying to touch you, hug you, or harass you - that is harassment.

Some things may be embarrassing, but they don't count as harassment. A boy who utters a sexual swear word for spilling his lunch tray is unlikely to be trying to molest you. But if someone intentionally does or says sexual things that make you uncomfortable, it is clearly sexual harassment.

You are not sure Ask yourself, "Is this something I wanted or do I want to keep doing this? How does it feel?" If it doesn't feel right, talk to a parent, teacher, counselor, or someone you trust.

How To Handle Sexual Harassment

If you think you are being harassed, don't blame yourself. People who harass or bully can be very manipulative. They are often good at blaming the other person - and even at making the victims blame themselves. But no one has the right to sexually harass or bully anyone else, no matter what.There is no such thing as "He or she asked for it."

There is no single "right" way to respond to sexual harassment. Every situation is unique. It can often be helpful to tell the person who started the harassment to stop. Let him know that this behavior is wrong with you. Sometimes that's enough, but not always. The molester may not stop. He or she might even laugh, annoy you, or harass you even more at your request.

This is why it is important that you share this problem with an adult you trust. Is there a parent, relative, trainer, or teacher you can talk to? More and more schools have a specific person talking about bullying issues. Find out if someone is at your school.

Most schools have sexual harassment or bullying guidelines in place to keep you safe. You can ask a tutor, teacher, or school administration about your school's guidelines. If you find that the adult you are speaking to is not taking your complaints seriously, hurry to find someone else to listen to you.

Undoubtedly, talking about sexual harassment first can be embarrassing. But this uncomfortable feeling quickly subsides after a minute's conversation. For the most part, faster storytelling leads to faster results and fewer problems down the line, so it's worth it.

It can help to record the events that took place. Write down dates and brief descriptions in a journal. Save offensive pictures, videos, texts or instant messages as evidence. This is where you have them if your school or family needs legal action. To avoid getting upset, you should put the evidence somewhere safe where you don't have to look at it every day.

When you see something, say something

Viewers play an important role in combating bullying and sexual harassment. If you see someone being harassed, take action. For example, when you feel confident and strong to say something, you can say something to the person you see being bullied or harassed. "Come on, let's get out of here." You'd better not try to change the perpetrator's behavior yourself, but it's okay to let the perpetrator know that people will be watching and meddling.

If you cannot say anything by the time you see the incident because you may be afraid, report the incident to a teacher or the headmaster. This is not a snitch. It stands for what is right. Nobody deserves to be molested. You can also talk to the victim afterwards and offer support. Tell him that you saw what happened and that you think it is wrong. You can offer help and support.

If you have any suspicions

You won't always experience sexual harassment or bullying. A friend who is currently affected may not talk about it.

Sometimes people show signs that something is wrong even when they don't talk about it. A normally optimistic friend may appear sad, worried, or distracted. Maybe a friend has lost interest in hanging out or doing things. Maybe someone you know is avoiding school or has falling grades. Changes like this are often signs that something is going on. It doesn't necessarily have to be sexual harassment or bullying (things like mood swings or changes in eating habits can be signs of many different things.) But it is a chance for you to wonder if everything is okay.

I hope this post was helpful and supportive to you.

It would be nice if you could share it on your social networks so that many of the young people can read it.

If you have any questions or need help on this topic, you can also call us in the office directly.

Best regards

Uwe Trevisan