When is love a weakness?
Georg Fraberger: "Love is a form of weakness"
"Wiener Zeitung": Mr. Fraberger, when was the last time you argued with your wife?
Georg Fraberger: (laughs) Last weekend.
And what about?
Sometimes I disappear into my thoughts - and then she asks: Where are you again? Then I have to justify myself. That happens more often.
So a routine quarrel?
Yes, and she's right too. Unfortunately. We have now agreed that I will not write any more books for a while. Otherwise I'm always thinking about the book. Even when I'm sitting next to her.
You have just written a book about relationships and you are not a couples therapist, but a clinical psychologist.
We differentiate between working hours and free time. We also differentiate between work relationships and private relationships. But there is really only one lifetime - and there is only one type of relationship. The body does not distinguish whether it is at work or in leisure. We need to be aware that we take the relationships we have at home with us to work. And when my relationship is bad, my body looks for another relationship at work that it feels comfortable with.
The work as a substitute for a relationship?
Well, ideally. But if I am unhappy in the relationship and feel more comfortable at work, then at some point I look to my assistant or, in the worst case, a patient. It is important to take care of your relationships. And everything is relationship.
In your book you write that the main question is: How do I know that it is love? How do you know, and is it that important to define a relationship?
Yes, it is important to define it. I don't differentiate between weeds and ornamental plants. For me there is only nature. That's why I can feel just as comfortable in the garden with a thistle as I do with a rose. But many do not. It is similar with love. Every relationship can turn into a love relationship - and that's why I have to look at every relationship lovingly. I don't believe that there is an amical relationship and a charitable one and an erotic one, only love relationships. In school we see that the children learn to read and write, but not to love letters. And that's why many lose interest.
What is love?
Love is a form of weakness. A weakness for a person or an activity or a thing. We believe love is always harmony. We believe we have to be happy when we see our partner. (Laughs) But anyone who's been married knows that love and joy don't have to go hand in hand. And yet it's love. We don't have to be happy, but can also put all other feelings into this relationship. Then worry, sadness or anger is also allowed. If the argument with my wife is worth something to me, then I know that it is love!
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