Means single in the 20s failure

Why life in your mid-twenties sometimes sucks

I turned 24 this year, which probably doesn't sound too terrifying to anyone over 18. But whatever an adult lifestyle, I'm as far removed from it as possible. My mother got me when she was my age now, my grandmother my mother when she was 21, my great-grandma had 6 children and had my grandmother when she was 20 on the run during World War II. They were all married by then and had worked for years. My friends and I rarely manage to go on dates at all, even under normal circumstances. What do we have in our mid-20s? Little to show, but the highest demands on the future and those with whom we want to spend it.

Anyone who is over 30 will tell you that your mid-20s is the best time of your life and that "you still have everything ahead of you" - depending on your emotional state, it is either the most beautiful or the most terrifying Sentence you will come across today. We could travel around the world, start a new course of study at the other end of the world, go away every day, meet new people, start saving for a house or a pension or finally be satisfied with that What is. But whatever you do, you will later regret that you did not do the other. So that we do not make wrong decisions, we do not make any and deal with the everyday problems that we are in 10 years that might shake their heads, but that still make life pretty shitty in their mid-twenties.

You may not fall in love with the guys who don't get in touch with you anymore, but you've never fallen for those who always get in touch. The one you want to fall in love with should slowly fit. You're not really panicked at the end of the day, but you don't want to go on dates twice a week where you politely sit down for two hours and then at the end of the evening have to think about how to say goodbye so that the guy doesn't think you are want to make out with him. So you always have lovesickness in some way, but it is your own fault because your claims cannot be met.

Also get in touch now from Tinder - of course, have it on your phone. This app of the devil only makes you believe that all men must descend from a later wife Adam, who he did not form from his rib but from his sphincter muscle, when he could no longer use it anyway because of advanced anal incontinence. And why can't a man express his thoughts on Tinder other than with "xD" and words or sounds between two stars? No, don't need any filling, thanks. * Sigh *.

All of the people around you are suddenly diagnosed with some kind of illness that you either never heard of or that when you were little got someone strange and especially old. Multiple sclerosis, epilepsy, diabetes, depression. Once someone is told something like that and then go home to your flat share to store the newly prescribed medication that will make a wreck of you in the refrigerator between the vodka bottles of your roommates.

In addition, the doctor is no longer happy about your liver values, as he did when you were 18 and the ophthalmologist suddenly tells you that you need glasses just because you have greeted strangers on the street a few times. And when you are sick (or hungover for two days, which is becoming more and more common now), then you lie lonely and alone in your apartment, thinking the world is going to end and nobody is bringing you soup or telling you that everything will be fine again when you're puking over the toilet.

Oh yes, and where do all these allergies come from? I used to dismiss allergies as ailments for the problem-free and suddenly I can no longer drink wine. Who is taking revenge on me here and for what?

Suddenly you get hair in places where there never was before. You must have a dark-haired friend who has been moaning since she was 11 about hair that never existed on you. Suddenly they do - and it's not pretty. Like the old woman who used to ask for a euro at the bus stop and you couldn't answer because you stared at her mustache with fascination and disgust. You always wondered if women's bodies can actually do that. You can.

It has always been a bit divided into those who have been in a relationship and those who seek a relationship when they leave. But the couples who now find each other no longer bother to live the sad lifestyle of the singles. They don't go away, but once a month they invite you to organic veal cheeks cooked sous vide with green apple, hazelnut mousse and Bengali pepper. If you were once a large group that always sat in the local pub, played games evenings or went to the Danube, then it somehow shrinks to a small, hard core. To pull away the hard core, which is too cowardly (if only to Währing).

Photo by Stefanie Katzinger

You are now responsible for your own decisions. If you don't pay a bill or you don't go to the dentist for two years and get tooth decay, it's not your mother's fault. No, it's you yourself. You have to pay the dunning fees and the tooth decay goes to your account - unlike the money from your parents.

There are a lot of things that you should know better by now: That you no longer buy your pants at Zara because the clothes are made there under the worst conditions and politically questionable things are sold. Or that you should eat healthier and drink more (water!) So that in 10 years the body doesn't collapse or the kidneys stop working. But you only think about it during profound discussions at the Sunday organic wellness brunch with your friend from kindergarten.

When you come home the next evening after university or work, you still snuggle up in your H&M sweatpants and don't feel like cooking too much. Don't lie down on the sofa with a pizza and browse Tinder. Uninstall, I said!

You probably don't get any more money from the state, so you have two options: you either still study - and are dependent (at least in part) on your parents - or you work and can pay your own bills. In both scenarios, you have no money. If you are still studying, you get stressed that you will be in your late 30s by the time you can finally earn your own money and when you work you think you will never be able to have a private life again (going out during the week is no longer an option). But the worst of all is when you work and are studying. Nobody consciously chooses it because it is a serious mistake. Good luck with completing your studies.

Hanna usually writes about other things, but had to throw up a bit. Now and then tooon Twitter: @hhumorlos.

Get the best of VICE emailed to you every week!

By subscribing to the VICE newsletter, you consent to receiving electronic communications from VICE, which may contain advertising or sponsored content.