How does your spirituality affect your life?

Buhl coaching blog

Western esotericists are not resilient. And really resilient people have nothing to do with esotericism. I am convinced of that. Here you can read why esotericists lack three important attitudes and four skills in order to be truly resilient.

Desperate people reach for every straw: in the search for help, healing and hope, every means is right for many. Faith healers, fortune tellers, self-proclaimed gurus are very popular - despite questionable methods and dangerous psychotechnics. Since the members of the traditional churches have been running away in droves, people have been looking for orientation elsewhere.

Seemingly irrefutable truths and simple answers

Esotericism is booming: It offers seemingly irrefutable truths and simple answers to complex questions. It relieves its followers of critical thinking and instead offers “instructions from above” - conveyed through “media” and “channeling”. Or through something called “Natural orders”, “knowing fields” and “natural laws” that are simply postulated.

What people believe and how they shape their lives is of course a private matter. The sect information from the countries reports that people are victims of charlatans. The black sheep are only the tip of the iceberg. I am shocked at how esoteric thinking spreads in all areas of life: in companies, practices, educational institutions, schools and associations.

Esotericists see themselves as "chosen ones", belonging to a distinguished group of people who have secret, "the right" knowledge. I include everyone who deals with “rebirthing”, astrology, fortune telling, angel power, reincarnation, karma telling, “the work”, “the secret” and so on. In short: Anything that is somehow based on resonance and manifestation and comes from the New Age corner.

Two examples I've heard lately:

  • The co-managing director and HR manager of a medium-sized company goes to a “Reiki Master School” in her free time. She thinks she has the right talent and wants to be there "Learn more about people, how to deal with them and how to control them". Do you think this has an impact on the company, how they work with people, and how they are selected? I am convinced of that.
  • An innkeeper uses "psychophysiognomy" to guess what his guests want. He believes that he can "determine" guests on the basis of physical characteristics and then interpret their character and special preferences. Skull interpretation as a service basis. Help!

Ask someone you know who read “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. You will be amazed! Some refer to the book as "a top product of positive thinking", others as the "bible of nonsense". It was a phenomenal marketing success. If you are like me, you will slam these books shut again with a shudder.

Jutta Ditfurth wrote: "Esotericism is an ideology, a foul-smelling stew of stolen elements from all traditional religions that have been torn from their social and cultural context, it has fascist roots." According to Sekteninfo NRW, racist and right-wing extremists have been spreading there since the 1990s Currents.

This blog post is the answer to the very convincing statement made by an avowed esotericist in a resilience lecture by me. She said: "I work a lot on myself and I am a very resilient person."

I vehemently disagree: Western esotericists are not resilient. And really resilient people have nothing to do with esotericism. I am convinced of that.

Why? If we simplify the assumption that it takes three basic attitudes and four skills to become resilient, it quickly becomes clear why this is so.

1. Basic attitude: optimism

An optimistic attitude with which the world is viewed - based on a cheerful, confident, positive expectation that things will turn out for the better - is not the same as "positive thinking" esoteric.

Who is with Affirmations " who wants to program himself quickly realizes that in most cases this is not effective, only selectively or only for a short time. It is of no use if you ask yourself: "I have no problems, I solve problems" or "I am getting better every day."

"Affirmations" seem to act as self-sedation for some people. They calm themselves down with it and believe that they have things under control by controlling their mind with formulas: “As inside, so outside. As above, so below. "

This linear thinking is the attempt to reduce complexity and to cushion the upheavals in the modern world and to make them controllable. So when I think “right”, I have “good” experiences and feel happy. When I think “wrong” things happen that I don't want. Of course, you then have to constantly monitor yourself so that you don't forget to behave “correctly”.

Serve these supposed "laws of nature" Omnipotence fantasies and testify to magical thinking: “If I think correctly, this and that happens.” This is how young children behave. When you put your hands over your face, you think you are invisible.

2. Basic attitude: acceptance

The acceptance of serious, incurable illnesses, separations or painful experiences is usually not far off. The question often remains: “What is being mirrored to me from the outside?” The constant question about the soul plan that supposedly “prescribed” it seems almost compulsive. It seems out of the question that physical or mental illnesses can “just happen”. This goes hand in hand with the massive devaluation of conventional medicine, psychotherapy and recognized procedures - which, in contrast to esotericism, achieve verifiable results. Esoteric "therapies" will at best be one Placebo effect certified.

3. Basic attitude: solution orientation

I don't see that esoteric people behave in a solution-oriented manner. On the contrary: most of them live out almost delusional control fantasies. They believe they can get through certain circumstances "Manifestations" create, align your thinking in such a way that certain people, situations and circumstances are "attracted".

It shakes me when someone tells me that they are working with “orders from the universe” or that they are “manifesting” money, support, friends and partners as needed. My question "How do you cancel unpleasant life events?" Has never been answered. Esoterics consciously avoid painful and sad experiences - because they have no answer to them.

1. Ability: self-control

Anyone who trusts in horoscopes, tarot cards etc. is not self-determined, but is subject to it External control by self-chosen “authorities”. Fortune tellers live from awakening hope and prophesying great happiness.

Anyone who turns to others permanently in order to get answers, messages, hints from somewhere or even from the hereafter gives up their thinking and personal responsibility. He becomes dependent and is no longer able to make decisions for himself. The consultation of a “medium” replaces one's own understanding and the benevolent advice from the environment.

2. Ability: take responsibility

Responsibility is given to higher powers, to a “soul plan”, to karma or “karmic guilt in this incarnation”. Anyone who doubts this worldview is automatically devalued or despised as “representatives of the old matrix”.

Every failure can be assigned to the “soul plan”. You don't need to take responsibility for enduring a bad situation, finding solutions and getting up again.

"I am in the heart" means: "I want out of my mind". Unfortunately, this often works. The human being - who since the Enlightenment has actually been considered a rational being (Kant) - becomes irrational and inaccessible. Analysis, reason, logic, knowledge or science are devalued. Only the heart rules. “Feeling in” and “feeling in” replaces thinking. The "energy" that someone thinks they are feeling becomes the yardstick for assessing people, situations and living conditions.

3. Ability: Social Relationships

Esotericists are self-centered. You have a hungry one narcissistic egowho is constantly looking for recognition, confirmation, joy, happiness and abundance. They need self-discovery weekends, workshops, self-discovery trips in order to regularly fill their wells, to have “soul experiences”. Today shamanism, tomorrow spirit healing and Reiki, the day after tomorrow “karmic guilt” and tantra.

Esotericists spend a noticeable amount of time creating personal well-being. They don't invest in real and sometimes sad or painful relationships. The constant self-reflections are almost unbearable for many relatives and friends. Therefore, esotericists mainly move in their circles, there they hardly have to question themselves.

People who think differently are too strenuous for them. You confront them with fears, worries, illnesses, changes or contradictions. Esotericists have no answer to many things. They are offensive with their simplistic view of the world and with their lack of empathy. People don't want to hear sentences like "You manifested the cancer yourself, think about it" or "Your husband left you because he needs another woman for his soul plan."

It is abusive and outrageous, as is when esotericists demean others by telling them "You are not far enough, you still have to work on yourself".

It is almost impossible to enter into a critical dialogue or conflict. With a supposedly knowing smile, they turn away and lose contact. A culture of debate, the exchange of arguments and critical questioning are not provided for in this concrete worldview.

4. Ability: Shaping the future

Many esotericists follow a certain predetermined "development program" instead of creating their own future. A certain sequence of "levels" and degrees up to mastery gives them supposed security and ensures that they stay in the respective direction. In truth this is a Business modelthat attracts unstable people with insecure self-esteem who need support, support and feedback from a supposed authority.

Resilient people don't need that. They have a high tolerance for ambiguity and can live in unsafe situations for a long period of time without needing authoritarian responses. They are flexible, resilient and resilient. You know more than one way to find solutions to problems, to act and to shape them. Resilient people can make mistakes and endure their consequences. You allow yourself to fail and learn from it. You master situations for which there is no clear solution and no “right way”.

None of this, in my opinion, applies to esotericists. They adhere to firmly established worldviews and supposedly “natural orders” such as in the “family constellations” based on the model of the highly controversial Bert Hellinger.

Esotericism does not lead to resilience. Rather, it systematically wears people out of resilient behavior and lets their abilities wither away. Those who really have resilience usually have a connection to spirituality and are very much oriented towards their own values. As a rule, however, such people are not susceptible to esotericism. And that's good.

Petra-Alexandra Buhl

What do you think about it?

Literature tips:

“The soul botchers. Pseudo therapies that make you sick ”, by Heike Dierbach, rororo Reinbek / Hamburg

"Enlightenment Pleasing - An Esoteric Self-Experiment", by Bernd Kramer, Chr. Links Verlag

"Of skull interpreters and other charlatans: dubious methods of psycho-diagnostics", by Uwe-Peter Kanning, Pabst Verlag