What's good in a love marriage
Couple relationship: is a marriage of convenience better than a love marriage?
Relationship as an experiment: Susanne Wendel, (nutritionist, 41) and Frank-Thomas Heidrich (mechanical engineer, 45) were just friends, but had one thing in common: panic at the end of the day. In 2011 they decided to simply move in together and start a family together. Now they have written a book about their unusual relationship.
The world: Ms. Wendel, you live with a man with whom you were not in love at the beginning of your relationship. Why?
Susanne Wendel: Because I didn't feel like waiting any longer for the right one. There is no such thing as a Prince Charming. I decided: I'll get involved with someone I like, Frank-Thomas.
The world: How did you know each other?
Helix: We met three years earlier during a further training course in Cape Town and have been easy friends ever since.
The world: Why did it not work out the normal way with a partner?
Helix: I looked for the ideal partner for six years - and didn't find the right one.
The world: Why?
Helix: I had very high demands on a man. I wanted a man who had everything. He should look great, be successful, be loving, and want children. That above all. But there wasn't. I've had a lot of men. But it didn't fit with any of them. I was almost 40. Suddenly I realized that a child is now the most important thing to me. And at this seminar in summer 2011 it became clear that my friend Frank-Thomas wants the same thing as me.
The world: What is Frank-Thomas missing to be a dream man?
Helix: Nothing at all today. (laughs) In the past - a lot: he was too calm for me, cautious, was visually not my type.
The world: Does that still bother you?
Helix: No, except when I'm in a bad mood (laughs)You always find things that bother you about your partner.
The world: Is your path a suggestion for all women with a deadlock?
Helix: Definitely. My suggestion is: take a look around your friends. Stop looking for dream men. Find nice men. Being nice is a great requirement. The rest is coming. Men grow from a woman's love.
The world: Are you in love now?
Helix: Yes. Even more. I love my husband. It took a while. We are a great couple. We just skipped the phase with the butterflies in our stomach.
The world: Do you like each other less and less like average couples? Or always more?
Helix: Always more. Our relationship just keeps getting better. We have the feeling that we are still at the very beginning.
The world: Can you fall in love with anyone?
Helix: No. A few basic requirements must be met.
The world: Which?
Helix: Sympathy, similar values. Same family ideas. Same idea of lifestyle. The very important question is: How much do I want to work? Then you don't wear yourself down in everyday life.
The world: How important is willingness in a partnership?
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