Who loves more girls or boys

The male flaw - do parents want girls rather than boys?

In the 14th week we went to the neck wrinkle measurement and the doctor there said: “Ohhhhhh, I see something, I can't even say what I'm seeing” (as is well known, doctors are not allowed to reveal the gender at this stage ). I replied: “A dick, right? We are counting on a boy! ”. "I don't see a dick." he answered. And later: “Here you could see that it is a girl. If you wanted to see it. "

We were disappointed. We were looking forward to a boy and now it should be a girl, shouldn't it?

Then we laughed because we realized: it doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. It all has its advantages and disadvantages. Girls are great, so are guys. Girls are exhausting, so are boys. Girls can wear cute braids. Boys cute lederhosen. Everything is fine, no matter how it comes.

Three guys! You poor!

But again and again I have the feeling that in our part of the world there is a clear preference for girls. Young parents are more likely to be pitied. Especially when male dominance in the family is clearly established, i.e. when there is more than one child - and all of them are boys. Friends of mine have two boys and when the mother was pregnant for the third time, she was downright offended, because everyone was saying: But this time finally a girl, right? Or, as Claudi said in an interview: “Somehow I thought I couldn't be happy without a daughter. Maybe because the environment tells you exactly that again and again. If you're pregnant with the third boy, heidewitzka, you have to listen to something. "

By the way, the good girl had her fourth boy last week - a Bo! Congratulations again! - Brought into the world and I claim she is terribly happy about it and would not trade it for a girl for anything in the world!

I also have some friends who consider themselves to be absolute boy moms. They are very happy that they have no girls - and they too have to hear regularly that we are poor, after all, it is their turn.

If, on the other hand, a family has several girls - somehow there is less pity. Two girls - wonderful. When there are three or four, the father is sure to be laughed at with a little pity, but one has the feeling that a lot of estrogen is more tolerated in a family than a lot of testosterone.

It's the other way around elsewhere

In other societies there is a clear preference for young people. In China it is said: “The birth of a boy is greeted with shouts of joy and fireworks. When a girl is born, the neighbors don't say anything. " In India, until recently, prospective parents were encouraged to abort female fetuses to avoid dowry. In these countries women are still a flaw. In the mind, they only produce costs that have to be brought under the hood. It's hard to imagine, but even nowadays girls are (illegally) deliberately aborted. Or killed. Or poorly nourished, neglected…. And not only in India and China, but also in parts of Eastern Europe and so on, girls are considered less desirable. Of course, this has fatal consequences, because the women will be missing at some point. In China, all the men that the one-child policy spawned are no longer finding women. Demographers warn against a “masculinization” of the world.

It's not like that in this country. But earlier - it wasn't that long ago - people in Germany were also happy when a tribal holder was born. My great-grandmother had five girls and everyone was relieved when the youngest finally became a boy who could take over the farm. Such thinking is now obsolete. Women can - at least in theory - take on all supposed male tasks, they can run companies and farms, they can lead royal houses (they have been able to do that for a long time).

Are Girls More Pleasant?

And I really tend to get the impression that it has actually turned around. That girls are wanted a little more than boys. Can that be, or is it just my subjective feeling? And if so: what could be the reason?

Well, guys are often stronger, wilder, more unadapted. Of course, you can never say that across the board, there are also extremely strong, rebellious and unadjusted girls and very adaptable and reserved boys, but most of the “problem children” who, in the opinion of some, are too loud, too active, too cheeky, are just now Guys. Boys are two to four times more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD. Strangely enough, boys do not seem to fit into our worldview, in which you are not allowed to climb trees and scream, but rather sit in a restaurant, paint and learn. Can that be a reason?

Or is it just the surplus of boys? For years, more boys than girls have been born in Germany. It is not yet clear what this could be due to. I think that's because there are more intended children, and the likelihood that a male sperm will find its way directly to ovulation is apparently greater (and ovulation can now be determined well). There are also theories that female fetuses are more likely to die. Or that males are actually “more vulnerable”, but are more likely to be saved thanks to modern medicine. Or that good nutrition produces more boys. Some also claim that the majority of men has to do with stress, which we have in our society in abundance. Anyway - maybe that's where the girl preference comes from?

Maybe it's not true, and I just pretend I keep hearing: Oh God, two (three, four) boys, the poor.

Or guys more difficult?

Either way: I think it's nonsense. I also find it quite challenging to raise a boy, but so far the girl has done quite a lot. I often think of the article in the FAZ in which a neuroscientist explains why boys need more support, good role models. More help so they don't lose their way. I think there is something to it.

But are guys therefore “more difficult” per se? I know a lot of very wild and “difficult” girls who don't even think about sitting and painting in a restaurant. And also some guys who are very shy and sensitive and incredibly frugal.

Of course, I still think it's nice that I had a girl, the second time. Because having a big brother is such a dream. Because I imagine I can understand girls better. But a second male tomboy - that would have been nice too. And probably not quieter or easier. Two guys who go through thick and thin together, who take care of each other. Also great. A big boys crew, that's really nice. A house full of girls, great too. And every design can go wrong too! So maybe we should stop evaluating. And generalize. Sometimes I catch myself saying: "female reason hold". Or: “Men stop…” But actually that's nonsense.

These children are all individuals. And every family construction has something for itself!


Nick Karvounis / Unsplash took the photo of this cute rascal