How do I stop abusing myself

Help portal Sexual abuse

Before deciding to become part of a self-help group or to found one, it can be helpful to ask yourself a few questions in advance:

  • Do I have the space and time in my life to deal with the sexual violence I have experienced and its consequences?
  • Do I want to get involved with the other participants in the group? And do I have space to listen to other people's problems?
  • What would my personal goal be in a self-help group? What do I want to achieve by participating in a group?
  • What do I want from the others in the group?
  • What rules and what structure do I need to be able to feel comfortable in a group?

The following additional points are important for a group formation meeting:

  • Establishing a time frame
  • Are there breaks?
  • How often does the group meet?
  • How anonymous is the group?
  • Procedure for the next group meeting
  • Room (recommendation: if possible no private setting)

Sources and further references:

  • Authors' group Tauwetter (1998): Tauwetter, a self-help manual for men who were sexually abused as boys. Ruhnmark: Donna Vita (Note: Can be obtained from Thaw.)

Further information is also partly available from specialized advice centers or from the National Contact and Information Center (NAKOS) at