What is your guilty pleasure in sex

archive"Gathering nations" in a slightly different way ...
Under the covers of the world

For some it just happens that way, some set it as a goal: what sex is all about around the world. | Image: Zita Hille
For some it just happens that way, some set it as a goal: what sex is all about around the world. | Image: Zita Hille

01 Feb 2019

“I collect nations” - when such a sentence is uttered, many think that it means traveling around the world. But when you talk to a certain group of globetrotters, the focus is on something completely different: sex in as many countries as possible. How is that supposed to work? And why? A 25 year old traveler commented.

Traveling around the world and having sex, lots of sex - that is the new trend destination of the so-called “Barney Stinson Travelers”.

Mila (name changed) is not your typical “Barney Stinson traveler, but has also had some sexual experiences around the world. She is 25, is currently studying in Berlin, is hipster - even if she doesn't want to admit it - very politically active, was recently blocked on Tinder and is constantly on the go. But what could she take away from her "travels" and what is her goal?

What exactly is your "preference"?

I never woke up in the morning with the idea, "I want to sleep with as many people in the world as possible." That just happened. I'm on the road a lot and I'm constantly getting to know new people, so over the years people from different countries join in. At some point we had a slightly drunk conversation with friends in our shared kitchen and the question arose as to how many different nations we had something with before. So I tried to add that up and came up with a colorful variety, let's put it that way. (laughs)

How many are there now?

I could have a look ... (pulls out her list). There are 16 different nations, some of which are of course repeated.

In which countries have you already lived?

I have now traveled to over 50 countries. I was born in a city in the western center of Germany - since then I have traveled a lot and lived in several countries for more than three months, for example Poland, France, Israel, India and Hungary.

Would you describe your experiences as “Preference“ or "fetish describe?

I think I'm just totally interested in traveling, in other cultures and their way of life, that has always been the case. That's why I find people from these circumstances very interesting and I like to spend time with them, and I also have a very international group of friends. That's why it often happens that I fall in love with people from other countries.

Mila (symbol picture) has already enjoyed - in the truest sense of the word - with many countries. Examples are the “standard countries” of Europe such as the neighboring countries of Germany, UK etc., but also Israel, China or New Zealand. | Image: Zita Hille

Have you noticed any differences between nations when it comes to sex?

For me, the main differences lie in flirting or dating. Things that depend on the socialization of each person. An example from Eastern Europe is that the men there are very "gentlemanly" - this is probably due to the fact that outdated role models still exist there. For example, they hold the door open or immediately take your bag from you. In Latin America it is noticeable that they are much more direct about their actions, for example they just dance to you in the club. One cannot say nation in general, but only person with this nationality. The Germans are also very athletic compared to other nations.

"It may also be that in England I don't necessarily have something with an Englishman, but get to know a Spaniard and then it turns out with him." - Mila, 25

The first thing you notice is the body hair: German men are usually super depilated, and shave or trim themselves regularly. This is not the case everywhere.

The people from the Asian countries that I got to know are well, on average a bit differently equipped, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the sex would be worse. (laughs) I had something from Hong Kong with two people. But none of this is representative, you definitely have to say that.

Most of the time I only meet people who are quite “Europeanized” in their nature and who have hobbies or similarities as I do.

Michael Berndt is one of the more extreme "Barney Stinson travelers". In his book “100 countries. 100 women. 100 Räusche ”reports the now 34-year-old Saxon from his experiences. | Image: Michael Berndt “100 countries. 100 women. 100 noises "
On his trip, the ex-butcher met 100 women of various nationalities, had adventures and tried the local people's drugs in every country. | Image: Michael Berndt “100 countries. 100 women. 100 noises "
He is now back in Germany and has a wife. He met with this when he had not yet completed the 100 countries and was encouraged by her to continue traveling. | Image: Michael Berndt “100 countries. 100 women. 100 noises "
"For me there is no blowjob without a condom!" - Mila, 25

Are you afraid of STIs if you change your sexual partners so often?

I think anyone who has dealings with more than one person has that. I've never had a sexually transmitted disease, but I'm also very careful and strict. In my circle of friends I am known for always encouraging everyone to use contraception and to take care of themselves while having fun. (laughs)

Have you ever been scared of being pregnant?

I think every woman has that. But there has never been a realistic reason for it.

Where did the person you had the best sex of your life come from?

Germany, Israel and Poland. But that was because those were my ex-boyfriends too. You know people and love them and of course sex is automatically better there.

How do you separate sex and feelings?

There are people for whom physical intimacy is something totally special and who they deal with very sparingly. I've never been like that. I am a super cuddled person. For me, physical closeness has nothing to do with relationships, more with emotional connections. So I have no problem developing physical relationships with people I like. I can have good sex with friends too.

One night stands are not Mila's thing. Their "relationships" are much more likely to arise from friendships or an emotional connection, so that they then enjoy themselves more often. | Photo: Zita Hille

How do you get to know people abroad?

I don't go looking officially, I also like to travel alone from time to time. I've used Tinder before, but my goal isn't to necessarily have sex in every country - that's not why I travel.

“I don't want to be in a country and think:“ Oh dear, I've only been there for two weeks and I definitely have to look for someone to sleep with. ”If it happens by chance, well, if not, then not . "- Mila, 25

Get married and have children or would you prefer to continue this lifestyle forever?

Because I never plan it, but because it always just happens, I unfortunately can't say that - I definitely want to start a family one day. I think I have really arrived for the first time here in Berlin - even when I was traveling again 2-3 months ago, I was homesick for the first time. I think traveling can also be really exhausting.

Is it weird for you not to speak in your mother tongue during sex?

I work in English, speak to most people in English and it's just become part of my lifestyle. The other day I had something with someone from Germany, where I noticed that I suddenly used English phrases during sex, for example “oh my god” or something. (laughs)

Berlin - Germany's city of sexual openness. | Image: Pixabay

Are you looking for something special in sex with men?

I think every person naturally finds it nice when you notice that the other person likes you. However, that's not why I sleep with anyone. What gives me something is actually friendship. I am very confident about myself, my body and my goals in life that I don't need this confirmation from sex.

Do you know people who are as open about sex and abroad as you are?

In Berlin I don't stand out at all. Here you have the feeling of having a lot of freedom, especially sexually. The people are very open and tolerant. Group sex in the club or ONS every weekend is normal. Everyone is in an open relationship or polyamorous, everyone has tinder dates all the time. This is handled very loosely here in Berlin, which I really appreciate. Here everyone can be who they are and nobody cares - there are still crazier people than you.

Do you think there should be more of this open approach to one's own sexuality?

I find it very healthy to be open about one's own sexuality, as long as one naturally takes care of one's own health - in the end, however, everyone has to decide for themselves what they are comfortable with.

Thank you for the interview!

Michael Berndt's book “100 countries. 100 women. 100 noises "are here.