Why are old people so impatient
What our grandparents need is love and patience
Last update: 09 March, 2017
Maybe our grandparents don't have as much energy as they used to, maybe they find it difficult to move, maybe they don't remember who we are, maybe sometimes they strike the wrong note when they talk to us, or they rob us of the last nerve because they can no longer see anything positive in their everyday life.
Maybe it is and maybe it has to be because the everyday life of our grandparents is determined by routines and needs that we do not understand. And because of our young age, we may not understand the logic that explains these needs and the "subtle egoism" we suspect behind their words.
Still, we can say that with regard to an age when our society is robbing them of their identity and intimacy, the insecurities they reveal to us often have to do with their need to confirm their identity.
If you ever have the feeling that your grandparents or parents are draining your last nerve, think of the following words ...
If you ever have the feeling that your grandparents or parents are draining your last nerve, remember that they are only defending their right to freedom of choice at a time in their lives when they are dependent on others. Do not lose patience because they walk slowly, do not get upset if they scream, cry or tell you the same thing 20 times.
As you listen to your grandparents or parents and are starting to get impatient, remind yourself that this may be the last time you will hear about this struggle from their past. Love them when they are old and give them what they need. No matter how slow they run, they need your help and love.
“There is a time of upheaval in family history when family members are getting older and older and the natural hierarchy no longer makes sense: Then children become the parents of their parents.
That time comes when a parent gets older and begins to pace up and down as if they were surrounded by fog and couldn't see. Slow, cumbersome, and confused. When one of the parents who took you by the hand and led you when you were little no longer wants to be alone. When the father, once determined and successful, becomes weak and now has to take two deep breaths before he can move.
When this person, who used to say where to go, only sighs and moans today and searches for this door and this window, which now seem very far away to him. When one of the two parents, previously work-hungry, fails to put on their own clothes and can no longer remember what medication to take.
And as children we should do nothing more than accept that we are responsible for this life. This life that begot us now depends on us in order to pass away in peace. "
Grandparents are by no means to be treated like small children
Older people sometimes seem like “little children” to us because they need patience, attention, care, understanding, and love. There may be moments when they may require our attention and parental care, but that doesn't mean we need to talk to them as we do to children.
We can't just treat them as if they don't know, because they are people with a life story that is incredibly rich in experience and wisdom. Too much belittling when communicating with them, simplifying what is being said, speaking to them in a childlike voice, or disregarding their freedom of choice is totally inappropriate with older people.
When we talk to older people and treat them as if they were young children, instead of approaching them and improving our communication with them, we only earn rejection and resistance.
Our grandparents don't deserve us to treat them like children because they just aren't. They are adult people who are limited in their life in some ways due to their age and possible illnesses.
Treating them normally gives them the opportunity to accept their limitations in life while recognizing their abilities.
In addition, it is important that we also deal with the topic of "abuse of older people", which unfortunately occurs more often than we want to believe. Physical and psychological violence is common in the relationship between grandparents and their caregivers.
The most common forms of abuse are the most common forms of abuse in the elderly, disregarding everyday things, not accepting their help, giving them too much or too little medication, ignoring them, and abusing them emotionally and physically.
Unconditional love and endless patience - the most important components of care
Even if the care of our grandparents can rob us of our last strength, we must still not forget that this sadness and fatigue are part of a painful process that we must go through. It is part of the farewell, of saying goodbye to a part of our soul that belongs to them.
With them goes everything that we have not shared with anyone else and for which there are now no more witnesses. It certainly takes a lot of hard work from us, but it is also an opportunity that life offers us. We shouldn't let it go idle.
Because what our grandparents need is unconditional love and endless patience. Both of these ingredients are the most important when it comes to caring for the elderly. They take away their fear and sadness that they have lost skills and have to say goodbye to life.
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