What was missing in your childhood

Injured child's soul: the suffering of a bad childhood can be overcome

The mother had little time, the father freaked out even with little things: Almost everyone remembers situations in their childhood in which they were treated unfairly by their parents or felt unloved.

If such injuries were the order of the day, what often remains is the feeling of not being worth anything, of not being loved, of doing nothing right. Often these sensations shape the whole of adult life. Then it is necessary to reconcile with childhood and parents.

Upbringing: Greed is often caused by a lack of affection

For many people, the attitude towards life corresponds to the basic attitude towards parents, writes psychologist Bertold Ulsamer in one of his most recent books.

Adults who were greedy often had the feeling that they had not had enough as a child. In order to gain a more positive outlook on life, he therefore recommends changing attitudes towards your own parents.

It is helpful to write a letter to the father or mother, but not to send it, says Ulsamer. He works as a psychotherapist in Freiburg. Writing it down helps you admit to yourself that you were hurt in childhood. Only those who admit that an experience was bad can begin to clarify the situation.

Try not to blame parents

The direct conversation with father and mother is only rarely possible: "95 percent of the parents fail," says Ulsamer. If there should be a debate, it is best to do so in a loving setting. Children should try not to blame parents. It is not about pointing the blame. The aim of the conversation is to improve the relationship with father and mother.