Narcissists hate being ignored
Ignoring a narcissist who is trying to punish you
Ignoring a narcissist is vital - it's a skill that can save your life.
And there is no moment more important to ignoring a narcissist than when they are trying to punish you.Also read:
10 downright sneaky things narcissists do in relationships
14 lies that sociopaths and narcissists want you to believe
Narcissist and empath
Narcissists love to get your reaction. And as soon as they get it, you give up your power.
This is how narcissists “bloom” - they love to know that they have invaded your thoughts, heart, mind and soul until the moment they mean the whole world to you.
And then it feels like he's rammed his claws into your back - like your whole world has turned upside down.
Until we know better, we think that fighting a narcissist when his cruel punishment occurs can stop the suffering - the onslaught of twists, turns, confusions, and outright abuse.
Unfortunately, that cannot stop the suffering.
In fact, every time we try to get any kind of decency, accountability, or sanity, things escalate and we end up even more disoriented, broken, and traumatized than before.Also read:
8 things to expect after breaking up with a narcissist
How a narcissist really sees love, written from a narcissist's point of view
Four reasons why the narcissist never loved you
But what is the solution then?
There is only one thing that is the ONLY solution. And to do so, to ignore them completely - which means not giving them back energy and reaction and not allowing them to provoke you.
But I've found that the hardest part of ignoring the narcissist was when he tried to punish me.
Those were the times when he thought I was kind of offending his confidence and he had to show me how to behave. ZmB. could that mean that I didn't greet him adequately at the door and to punish myself he broke up with me and left.
And there were times when he thought I had insulted him, which led to him lashing out with verbal abuse, name calls and derogatory statements about my character.
But there were also moments of punishment when he believed that I was interacting with other men and threatening me or becoming physically violent. I could tell you about my experiences by tomorrow and I am sure that you can also talk about the way in which the narcissist has punished you in your life.Also read:
A relationship with a narcissist will always be one-sided
The manual for narcissistic partners
How a narcissist sees life and you
And for most normal mortals, like me and you, initially it is almost impossible not to respond to the cruel and disproportionate behavior of a narcissist if the punishment is inconsistent with the alleged crime.
Especially if you are like me, a very passionate person who has certain ideas about life and how people should treat one another with respect.
I was one of those people who hated injustice a lot.
I couldn't imagine just sitting back and saying nothing when something was obviously “wrong”, “unjust”, or “ridiculous”. For me it was like not brushing my teeth in the morning.
Such behavior was just mine.
So, as far as the narcissist goes, my behavior so far has been the perfect target for his care - because all he had to do was do something weird, wrong, unjust, cruel and I was going to respond to it in a moment.Also read:
Why you should never rush into a new relationship after narcissistic abuse
Four things a narcissist will say to devalue you
Loving Narcissists - 7 Reasons It Hurts To Love A Narcissist
Before embarking on the intense recovery journey, I just thought I was doing the right thing by confronting him. I did not recognize the consequences of my intensely co-responsible behavior (drawing my life from the outside by trying to force other people to grant myself something).
What I did was defy all the rules of quantum law - both inwardly and outwardly.
And that is the absolute quality of this law: Whenever we try to change someone else in order to bring us inner peace and happiness, we are certainly on the wrong path…. because all we get is more anxiety than satisfaction.
The second thing Quantum Law forces us to do (and hopefully we are finally awakening) is that inner peace and happiness is our own fundamental responsibility and then and only then will other people follow us by sane means.
In this article, I want to share with you the five most important insights and processes to ignore narcissists, especially during the times when they are trying to hurt you.Also read:
10 signs you're dating a narcissist who loves himself!
5 sneaky things narcissists do to take advantage of you
How can I ignore a narcissist?
1. Ignoring a narcissist does him more harm than anyone else
I have noticed that this step is very useful for people to help them (ignoring narcissists) before working on their Inner Behavior - which means detoxifying their trauma and reprogramming their painful beliefs.
At first, it is very human that we want revenge on narcissists because we want them to suffer. They hurt us and what they did to us runs counter to our sense of loyalty, love and all the qualities we stand for as human beings.
You should know, even if I accept all the rules of quantum regeneration, where we deliberately evolve to the point where we have no need for narcissists to live a truly wonderful, rich and extended life, I recognize the phases that we are emotionally go through, deeply.Also read:
What a relationship with a narcissist really feels like
5 Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics Narcissists Use To Get Inside Your Head
Vengeance and the desire to return the favor is very real to most of us at first and flows through our being. Because as long as we're willing to work towards our inner recovery as quickly as possible, this can be a helpful step in ignoring a narcissist.
Ignoring them makes them meaningless and useless. The deepest fear for narcissists is that people will turn their backs on them and walk away and accordingly there is no greater defeat for them. It's literally emotional annihilation.
You should also know that your emotions have a time frame to resolve the problem - yes, ignore a narcissist because you know it hurts them more than anything, but also begin your recovery right away because if you do If you don't, your ego's joy in ignoring it will be short-lived.
The ego never holds energy and peace permanently; it needs constant evidence and affirmation. Therefore, if you are not doing deep healing processes to detoxify yourself from the narcissist, you will want to check him out - such as on social networks, or get in touch with people who know the narcissist to see if your ignoring really hurt him .
Your attention will still be on the narcissist, which means that the healing and recovery is not progressing, you will still be taken advantage of and will give away energy. Therefore, it is important that you use this knowledge as you begin recovery.
2. Giving a narcissist the energy means giving him the guns to shoot you with.
Understanding the rules of dealing with a narcissist gives us more reason to ignore them than to declare war on them.
And of course that helps us to gain more time to work on our inner healing. Narcissists don't behave like normal people during quarrels and times of crisis.
Because for most normal mortals the conflict drains energy from their inner being and that is tasteless, painful and exhausting. Narcissists are the complete opposite; Conflicts, dramas and traumas give them the energy they need. The narcissist's true feelings for himself are disastrous.
Therefore, they created a fictional character who is a link between the narcissist and his internal wounds.
This being, known as the ego, guides the narcissist's emotions and life and feeds on pain. In contrast, the character known as “self-confidence” (which still exists within us even if it is not yet free due to internal trauma) feeds on love, authenticity and truth.
Because the narcissist is disconnected from his “self-confidence”, he cannot register or hold good feelings. He can only act in the area of painful feelings. All “good” feelings for a narcissist are delusional, obsessive, and ego-driven.
You are incapable of fighting a narcissist who is turned on and energized like a shark in bloodied waters. Instead, you will be torn to pieces.
On the one hand it is your ego that wants to keep fighting, but on the other hand your "self-confidence" knows that the spent energy and cruelty you endure is not worth it and is not what you really are.
And meanwhile your “self-confidence” tells you: withdraw, heal and create yourself as a being that is insensitive to abuse. Don't try to fight back because you will only feed the ego and give it the energy to abuse you.
3. Ignoring narcissists shows us what we need to heal
When you pull back with the motivation that hurts the narcissist the most and you stop giving him energy and strength, then it is time to work on your own Inner Being to heal yourself. At this moment you step into the quantum power to ignore the narcissist.
This is a much better example instead of constantly having to remind yourself why you need to stay away. If you heal in this way, you will heal forever.
But that is only possible when you begin determined work on your Inner Being - detoxifying your inner trauma and reprogramming your painful beliefs. In this way, the narcissist attacks you even more.
He attacks the unhealed parts of you and you have to really make an effort to ignore him forever in order to free yourself from all the feelings of entanglement, love and need for him. And when you do that, the narcissist becomes completely irrelevant to you and you will move into relationships that are healthy, whole, and real.
This is a massive cause to celebrate and I promise you it is the truth. This is the truth that ultimately set me and so many others free.
From that moment on, ignoring a narcissist becomes pretty easy because we've made the journey of loving and healing ourselves rather than trying to turn the narcissist into someone who loves and cares for us decently. The rules that applied to me apply to all of us.
In the beginning I clung to the narcissist like a woman in a typhoon hanging on the side of a sinking ship. I drowned, but I thought he was my only option to survive.
Then why did I do that? I can tell you that too, because of all the feelings I had as a kid and how I grew up.
I always felt that I wasn't good enough, that I felt loved under conditions, that I wasn't understood, that I wasn't able to have my own rights, and that I wasn't able to have my own life respectively. Those were all sides of me that were seriously threatened again.
While I had these unhealed wounds, I held whoever inflicted these wounds on me (him) responsible for healing those wounds. Then why does anyone bind himself at all? Because the unhealed child within us dictates our emotions and our lives.
As I finished the process of healing these original traumas, I saw all of my successes as thousands of people in this community have, and you will experience them too.
It's a nice feeling when the narcissist tries to challenge you and there is simply no way for them to do it. You just give him the cold shoulder and have no reaction. When you run out of feelings for him, there is no trauma either.
That is the level at which we can heal now, and deliverance from narcissism is only part of it. The real truth is: We free ourselves from inner traumas that have caused us to give up power in many areas of our lives.
4. Life keeps our backs free and will support us if we ignore the narcissist.
One of the biggest reasons we can't ignore the narcissist is because we think letting go means we become insecure, undefended, and crushed by them.
That requires a lot of work on our inner being - great work! I know from my own experience, and because I have helped many people in this community heal from narcissistic abuse, that one of the biggest obstacles we return to for even more abuse is crisis awareness.
It is this terror that troubles us with the things we cannot control, especially when they become frightening or threatening. It will hurt us immeasurably, tear us apart and knock us down.
These traumas arise from feelings of fear and powerlessness in childhood when we are hurt, but they are also more than that…. they are literal epigenetic horrors of human DNA wedged into so many people's DNA as part of the inherited human experience.
Look at our human story - it's brutal. So many of us carry terror, aspects of powerlessness, and abuse programs deep within us.
A miracle happens when we target that stuff and release it. Suddenly we know with every cell of our being that we have an incredible power - dictated by the composition of our inner being.
When we are no longer permeated with fear and all of our cells vibrate with the knowledge that we are loved and adored beyond measure just because we exist (which is our organic state if we lose our programs and traumas of fear) then we feel safe for the first time in our life.
And I mean really sure, and we know that what is inauthentic outside of us is not our reality and cannot affect us.
So I cannot recommend enough the importance of working on these inner programs to get free from the narcissists.
5. It only matters what you think of yourself.
Narcissists tempt us when we focus on all of the terrible things they do. Such as the smear campaigns and various abuses, the making of lies and the use of methods to dishonor and render us powerless.
When we are shocked, devastated, and traumatized by the false claims and terrible things that are said and spread about us, and people who turn against us in torrents, then we are in trouble.
We feel that we cannot ignore what is happening to us. We want to defend ourselves, have a right to an answer, and demean the person who tears our reputation to pieces or who may try to prosecute us.
I promise you that this 5th step is incredibly connected to the essential inner work.
One of the biggest obstacles narcissists face is our fear of authority and the terror of being molested.
These are two of the human weaknesses of impotence in our DNA caused by the terrible atrocities that have emerged in the human experience and that have been epigenetically transmitted as trauma within families.
This painful belief that is wedged into our inner identities goes like this: If people think that I am bad or that what I have done is wrong, I will get hurt and even die.
Is it any wonder we get caught up in terror when we discover what has been said about us or when the judicial authorities confront us about the lies of narcissism?
How can we ignore the narcissist when this happens? We can't. Obviously we can't. Mere logic, which is only responsible for 5% of our lives, has no power against an all-powerfully triggered subconscious survival program.
There is only one way to truly cure it, and that is to direct the unconscious program at its root. Because when we move and release these traumas that are deep in our DNA, then we start to free ourselves.
And after that, we are no longer under the influence of narcissists. We know we are not who other people think we are. We no longer fear that people and authorities will turn against us.
Instead, we calmly and clearly show the facts, or we just know that it is enough to be ourselves or to do nothing at all, regardless of what people think.
And then we find out that the terror campaign is breaking up and is no longer healing. People are starting to believe us and we are finally safe. People who want to join the narcissist can do that, but we have ourselves and other people in our lives who know who we are.
The greatest gift is that no one questions our words, that we know who we are and we know that we are safe. And it is in that moment that we discover that life follows our actions.
After being with a narcissist who has controlled us, confronted us and taken over our whole soul and life, letting go and ignoring him will feel completely absurd at first.
Still, I promise you that when you finish healing your inner being, loosening and creating your life will be the most natural and healthiest thing you have ever done in your life.
This creates a healthy template for you on how to live your life in a way that serves you tremendously. For example, making it your mission to control your inner world and then see your outer world change.
I can't tell you what a relief it is to stop controlling everything outside of us (which is too big and far too impossible) and instead make the change that changes everything…. on the inside.
Narcissists are the height of uncontrollability. Hence, this lesson teaches us about self-empowerment.
- How do I go on in life
- How painful is jaw surgery
- Prisoners receive free meals in jail
- Are there Jews in Asia
- What constitutes true sexual attraction
- What can children learn from their families
- Can illegal immigrants buy a home?
- Female Kaengurus are born with a pouch
- What is cash in Australia
- Makes job security lazy workers
- What are the top 10 fighter jets
- How do I overcome Restless Leg Syndrome
- What is your opinion on teenage parenting
- Do you want to immigrate to America?
- Is it okay to call Misandry
- What is a swingers club
- What are support walls
- The Greeks are descendants of North Africans
- Are women in their thirties
- What are the biggest misunderstandings about business
- Why do cats clean themselves
- Who is a technical program manager
- Shy people can be sarcastic
- Are sociopaths mentally ill