Have you ever been called a fagot?
Some rappers are gay. Deal with it!
In this new column for Noisey, Angel Haze writes about sexuality, homophobia and hip hop
I don't have a coming-out story to tell because I don't think anyone has to 'reveal' themselves. I also don't understand this riot that is always made about whether someone is gay, lesbian or bisexual; Likewise, there shouldn't be any distinction between LGBT and human rights, it's just complete nonsense.
In the hip-hop scene, it's still tough to be openly gay. There are an incredible number of people in this world who are secretly homosexual and who never live it out. I am one of those who deal with it openly, but people keep asking me about my sexual orientation and my answer is always that it doesn't really matter. We're not in a sexual situation right now, so it doesn't matter. If we ever find ourselves in a sexual situation, you would find out very quickly what sexual orientation I have, but as long as we are just talking, you don't need to know what I'm doing privately. Sexuality is really not the most interesting aspect of a person. If I kept repeating that my favorite color is red, at some point you would just tell me to shut up.
I also don't use gender-specific pronouns in my music. For me it should be something universal; something that everyone can identify with. It doesn't matter if you like boys or puppies or whatever. That's why I keep my private life and my feelings separate from my music and the expectations people might have of me as a pansexual, queer or whatever rapper.
But just because I didn't really come out doesn't mean I had it easy. I had to endure an awful lot of shit. A lot of my friends have said things like, "Bisexual people are disgusting, you just don't know what you really want." My family was the worst too. I heard from my mother that I would burn in hell for this.
My mother has never been married, she has never been in a happy relationship, and my girlfriends have friends who have abused them. Still, they all think that all of their shit is perfectly OK, but at the same time what I do is hideous to them. Total strangers just attacked me, called me a "fucking lesbian", "homo rapper" and other things. You have to listen to yourself a lot and keep telling yourself: "That feels right to me." You have found someone you love. Love is not a crime.
I am by no means a special case. I know thousands of gay teenagers who are afraid that someone in school will call them a fagot or beat them up in the locker room because someone thinks they're watching their cock. A 16-year-old fan once came to me and told me that her mother wanted to marry her off because she believed she had better control over her. She wanted to leave home. Nobody deserves to go through something like this, and nobody should let that one trait determine their whole identity.
At the beginning I was very hesitant to do “Same Love” because I was totally insistent that people would see me as a queer rapper and that I didn't want to address my sexuality in my music. At the same time, I said to myself that an artist is also a person who has something to say and is not just part of the usual, inconsequential background noise. For me Adele is such an artist and so are Frank Ocean and J. Cole. These are people who really have something of their own to say and don't just join the general blah.
“Same Love” is aimed at the fans who have sent me messages like this: “I hate myself for being gay. I wish so much every day that I could just be straight. ”But why? Why would you wish you were someone other than who you are? What right do these people have to tell you that you can't be gay and that you will go to hell? If you can show me real-life HD recordings from hell, we might get into a conversation, but until then you should finally shut up. Whether gay, bisexual, straight or whatever: Nobody plans or chooses it and precisely because it is natural, there is no reason to deny yourself. Never deny what makes you happy.
Angel Haze has a Twitter account and you should follow her— @ AngelHaze
Follow Noisey on Twitter and Facebook.
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