What are signs of emotional issues

10 things emotionally intelligent people do

Share the post "10 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Do"

Text by: Johanna Wagner

“I know I don't know,” said Socrates and I join Socrates. Because I sense that life is about something completely different than having an answer to everything. Are we not much more than our intelligence, our specialist knowledge or our general education? We are who we are! With our character, our strengths and weaknesses. With our relationships, our thoughts and our emotions.

Therefore: How well do you actually know yourself? How do you perceive your emotions? Those that concern yourself and those that concern others? Do you understand your emotions? How do you express it? And how do you deal with them?

EQ as a criterion for a good life

All of this - and much more - is based on your emotional intelligence. It is that certain something in each of us. Hardly tangible, but still unmistakably there. For example, emotional intelligence influences our behavior, how we manage social affairs, and how we make personal decisions. It simplifies our lives because we can understand each other, others and many other contexts better.

Dr. Travis Bradberry, co-author of the bestseller Emotional Intelligence 2.0, has evaluated the data of over one million people who took part in psychological tests as part of his company TalentSmart. This enabled him to record the behaviors that characterize a high emotional intelligence quotient (EQ).

Here are 10 signs you already have high EQ.

1. You have a large vocabulary that describes emotions

Sure, everyone experiences emotions. Yet only a fraction can identify them at the moment they take place. People with high emotional intelligence understand their emotions and can describe them with a comprehensive vocabulary.

The more specifically you can describe a feeling, the more precisely you will know how you feel, what caused this feeling and how you will behave in the best possible way. This can prevent irrational decisions and counterproductive actions.

2. You welcome change

Life always presents us with challenges and changes. Nothing is static, everything moves, everything changes. Some things are in our hands, some we are at the mercy of.

But as an emotionally intelligent person you are flexible and can adapt to different situations. You are less afraid of change, less paralyzed.

3. You stop negative self-talk

The more you brood, the more power you give negative thoughts. Most of your thoughts are just that: thoughts, not facts. If it feels like some things “always” happen (“I'm always the idiot!”) Or “never” (“I never do anything right!”), Then your brain is simply trying to detect threats. With a high EQ you distinguish thoughts from facts in order to escape negative circles and move towards the positive.

"How to let go of worries, stress and self-doubt"

4. You can assess the character of others

As an emotionally intelligent person, other people are no mystery to you. On the contrary: you have the ability to “read” other people, recognize what makes them tick and understand what they are going through. You are also more likely to see what is not directly on the surface.

5. You know how to say no

"Do you have time for me today?", "Can you still take on this task?", "Can't you postpone it again?" - "NO!".

“No” is a powerful word that many of us find difficult to say. I myself keep catching myself trying to please everyone else before I think about myself. Maybe out of an unconscious fear of rejection, maybe because a “yes” seems so much easier than a “no”. Lately, however, I have deliberately allowed myself a moment to pause and think: “Do I really want that?” And if the answer was “No”, then I answered “No”. One that I could explain. And that felt good because I took my side. Nobody else does that… And suddenly I felt strong, as if an invisible self had patted my shoulder: “Hey Johanna, you did that well! Thank you for thinking of me! ”Although a“ yes ”would have been much easier, in the end a“ no ”was also feasible. Because there is a solution for everything (and you yourself are not as important or indispensable as you sometimes think.)

According to a study by the University of California, San Francisco, the risk of experiencing stress or developing burnout or depression is higher the more difficult it is for a person to say "no". As an emotionally intelligent person, you say “no” when you want to say “no” and don't talk around it. You avoid sentences like “I think I can't do that” or “I'm not quite sure”.

6. You can let go of your mistakes

As an emotionally intelligent person, you distance yourself from your mistakes without forgetting them. You remember but don't dwell with them and keep them close enough to learn from them.

7. You don't hold a grudge (at least not permanently)

Resentment is accompanied by negative emotions, which lead to the typical stress response. All you have to do is think of a stupid situation and your body will put itself in a fight-or-flight response. This ensures our survival when a real danger is imminent. However, if the threat only occurs in our minds because it is a long past story that we still rewind over and over again, it can have devastating effects on our health.

Having a grudge means holding on to stress. As an emotionally intelligent person, you are aware of this and you know how to let go of mental ballast.

8. You get enough sleep

Everyone knows how important good and adequate sleep is for one's own well-being and motivation, and yet there is so much (or sometimes just one: the couch) that prevents us from going to bed early.

As an emotionally intelligent person, getting enough sleep is your priority.

Because our brain is charged while we sleep. It processes daily experiences, stores or discards them, which creates our dreams, so that we wake up fit and clear-headed the next morning.

9. You are interested in others

As an emotionally intelligent person, you are interested in your fellow human beings, recognize their sensitivities and know how to react appropriately to them. This interest and understanding is the result of empathy, which is one of the most important criteria of emotional intelligence.

10. You are wonderfully imperfect

Often times, those who seek perfection are left with a sense of failure. People with high emotional intelligence do not strive for perfection. You know it doesn't exist. People are fallible.

Instead of constantly asking yourself what you could have done better, you look ahead or at what you have already achieved.

Emotional intelligence can be trained

No matter how many points you find yourself in - with emotional intelligence, fortunately, it is the same as with many things in life: We can train them and thus shape our lives ourselves. And: We have to start with ourselves. How should we understand another if we do not understand ourselves?

It is important to look inward carefully. Keep asking yourself how you are doing in the most varied of situations: What do you feel? Immediately after waking up; if you miss the bus; when someone gives you flowers; if someone attacks you wrongly; when you are doing your work; when you have finished work; when the line at the cash register seems endless, etc. No matter when, look inside. Can you recognize feelings or sensations? And why do you feel how you feel?

Look inside yourself and get to know this huge world behind the walls of your body better. Far too often we do not really perceive it because the outer world, which apparently takes in everything, supposedly leaves no room for it.

I firmly believe that the more time we spend in our inner world, the more exciting and multifaceted the outer world becomes. So, dive in and enjoy the diversity that surrounds you when you emerge again.

More under The most important rule of emotionally intelligent people and in the myMONK book for a relaxed approach to emotions.

Photo: Kenneth DM

Share the post "10 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Do"

Promotion: Book savings package for a relaxed and fulfilling life Find out more here

From the shop: