How important is resilience in our life

Strengthen resilience

Strengthen resilience for a healthy and happy life

Resilience is what keeps people mentally healthy during and after severe stress, especially in crises. This makes us more resistant to hectic everyday life and the demands of the world of work. Strengthening your own resilience helps to consolidate this inner protection and increase your own flexibility.

Why strengthen resilience?

Our body and mind are the most important elements that make a good life possible. It is therefore important to properly care for and protect both. Resilience is the inner strength that makes both of these things possible.

On the one hand, strengthening resilience means that we pay attention to our body and its feedback on our environment. This allows us to perceive stress and better control our physical reaction to it. In this way, we strengthen a healthy behavior towards stress and also less prone to stress-increasing, harmful reactions.

On the other hand, strong resilience also means having a healthy mental immune system. Under stress, people like to fall into what Gunther Schmidt and Stephen Gilligan once suggested under the term “problem trance”. In doing so, they focus on what is not going well in life, what is bad. What made sense from a developmental point of view and allowed our ancestors to survive for thousands of years is now a challenge that has to be mastered. It is often difficult to bring our carousel of thought to a standstill, brooding and one's own negative skills are often well practiced. Strengthening resilience is about opening one's thoughts to optimism and target-oriented perspectives even under tension.

Resilience is a protective shield against harmful influences caused by stress. This ability is useful and important for everyone in every phase of life.

How can I strengthen my resilience?

Every person can learn and develop this inner power of resistance. In my opinion, it is always possible to further strengthen resilience. The best way to do this is with the help of a resilience trainer or resilience coach. In lectures, courses and seminars you will learn to train your resilience and that of others.

You can already do something for your resilience now. Here you can learn 6 exercises with which you will strengthen your resilience.

Regulate the body's response to stress

Our body reacts to stress. Biologically, this stress reaction can be explained by the fact that it was essential for survival in ancient times. Stress was a short-term emergency system that gave us enough energy to either flee or fight.

Nowadays our bodies still provide energy for precisely this purpose, but when we are pressed for deadlines at work, we don't just run out of the building or hit the next colleague. We have to deal with the body's response to stress somehow differently.

One minute meditation

The big problem with stress is that it can creep in and then gradually build up. Regeneration is an important part of strong resilience and can be easily brought into life with a simple exercise.

Stress means tension, and what the body needs is relaxation. We can not only achieve this by sleeping, but also treat ourselves to a well-deserved rest in between. One minute meditation is suitable for this. You don't need a yoga mat or a meditation class. Just yourself and 60 seconds of your time.

One minute meditation is about pausing, calming down and relaxing even during the stressful everyday life. You can do the meditation while sitting or lying down. Whichever is more comfortable for you.

Take a minute, close your eyes and breathe calmly and naturally. Breathing alone has a relaxing effect. To do this, breathe into your stomach as you breathe in and let the air out slowly as you breathe out. Imagine letting a little more tension flow out of your body with each exhale. Concentrate on your body and empty your mind as best you can.

Strengthening resilience means increasing mindfulness and taking care of body and mind, even with small, short gestures. Include this exercise before a meeting, after an appointment, or when you come home. You will notice the difference.

Beat

Stress can be insidious, but it can also overwhelm us. We usually notice this through a strong emotional reaction. Feelings can have a very strong and sometimes undesirable influence on how we think and act. Tapping helps with these acute stress reactions that we want to get rid of as quickly as possible.

Knocking, or bifocal multisensory stimulation, can quickly regulate strong reactions in precisely such cases. In doing so, you “tap” 16 points on the upper half of your body, which contribute to relaxation.

We often involuntarily perform gestures under pressure that are supposed to calm us down. Some touch the lips, others the cheeks or forehead. These calming gestures are combined with a stimulation of the brain so that hormones are released and thoughts of stress are interrupted.

Tap the points as many times as you want. You are welcome to tap points that feel more pleasant longer, points that are uncomfortable only briefly. The rule is that more intensive does not mean better, so treat yourself with care. You can find the knock points here. If you want to tap the points together with me, you will find here is a video.

Train optimism

Optimism is an important pillar of resilience and helps to strengthen it. Many people understand optimism to be an incorrigible, naively positive attitude. But what is meant here is a realistic optimism from which a positive attitude grows.

Gratitude journal

Stress, along with some other bad properties, has the effect of making us focus primarily on problems. We see what's going bad much more often than things that make us happy. This focus ensures that we get caught in a spiral of bad thoughts. One way to get out of this spiral is to focus on something else.

What are you grateful for? What was good today? What shouldn't change right now?

Answering these questions every day helps to train your gratitude and thus your optimism. You will build your resilience by reminding yourself of the good things in life.
This exercise also helps you focus more on positive events and feelings in the future. This makes it easier for you to remain optimistic even under stress. Because with the diary you prove to yourself: Not everything is bad.

Reframing

Another way to train optimism and strengthen resilience is reframing. This technique comes from Erickson's hypnotherapy and means “new framing” in German. This is about a change of perspective, to change description, relationships and evaluations. How we name things has a big impact on how we evaluate them.

A good example of this is the word "stubborn". It tends to have a negative connotation and we generally don't value this quality very much. But what about the “standpoint preservation competence”? Or “trouble” as “guardian of values”?

We evaluate differently depending on the designation. Try to label things with respect for yourself. Take the painter Bob Ross as an example, who said: "We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents".

As a new protective factor of resilience, it has just been confirmed that reframing or positve re-apprasial compensates for the negative consequences of signs of stress or makes them disappear. The nature of the relationship to the phenomenon of stress seems to be decisive in determining what effects it has.

Set goals and achieve them

Optimism as an attitude is also an important factor in achieving goals that you have set yourself. Everyone has goals and dreams in life that one wants to achieve. Resilient handling of goals consists of two factors.

On the one hand, strengthening resilience means that we formulate goals in a well-formed manner in order to achieve them more easily and more motivated. On the other hand, it also means being careful about your own failure.

Well-formed goals

If you have often asked yourself why your diet is not working, or you have still not managed to organize your workplace, now is the time to help. Factors why we cannot achieve goals because we run out of motivation halfway through the route or we don't even start. Making goals more achievable is easier with this exercise: setting well-formed goals.

In order to make goals simple and achievable, there are a few things to look out for:

1. Formulate positively - This will create an “towards” goal instead of an “away from” goal. Imagining a nice picture of achievement helps to maintain motivation for a longer period of time.

2. Do not make comparisons - in this way you can set off towards your goal independently of other factors and independently have control over the desired state.

3. Keep it simple and manageable - framing the target precisely will help you get a clearer picture of it. If you formulate the circumstances clearly and keep them simple, you will feel more comfortable on the way there.

4. Get feedback after a short time - In order to be motivated for a long time, it makes sense to regularly check the progress. Make sure that the intermediate stages are clearly visible to you and others.

5. Get started on your own - don't wait for a starting gun. Formulate your goal in such a way that you can start on your own and independently.

6. Be in control of the goal - Set your goals so that only you are responsible for achieving them.

7. Paint yourself a bright picture of the goal - A bright idea of ​​the goal helps to motivate yourself again and again. To do this, connect the goal with all of the senses to make it as tangible and beautiful as possible.

8. Plan the first small step - there is often a problem at the beginning. When you formulate a goal, think directly about it: What step towards the goal can you take in the next 24 hours?

Restrictions and failure

Goals can be well formulated and well thought out. But sometimes that doesn't help with implementation either. A failure on the way can happen. Because there are obstacles in life that we cannot (yet) overcome. These restrictions frustrate or cause stress. We can increase our resilience by learning to deal with such barriers.

A mindful and healthy approach to failure is acceptance. When we fail, we usually blame ourselves for it and thereby lower our self-worth. However, this only damages our internal immune system and still does not advance us. That is why it helps to accept a second-best solution in the case of restrictions. Even if the desired goal cannot be achieved, an alternative does not necessarily mean failure.

Give yourself permission to make a mistake and to honor your humanity. If you accept yourself and your limits, it will be easier for you to see yourself as successful.

Working on resilience is a lifelong process and when the road in life gets a little bumpy you may remember that an easy road has not yet produced a skilled driver. All the best for you and your way!


Sebastian Mauritz, M.A. Systemic consulting, is one of the leading resilience experts in Germany. He is a five-time specialist author, keynote speaker, resilience trainer, systemic coach, board member in many coach and trainer associations and entrepreneur. His focus is on individual resilience and prosilence®, resilient leadership and team resilience. He is the initiator of the resilience online congress, during which he exchanges ideas with over 50 other resilience experts from various disciplines (www.Resilienz-Kongress.de).