Have you ever destroyed someone's life

Why the people we love most often disappoint us the most ...

Even if I haven't even started this article, I already know that it will be one of the most personal and emotional posts I've ever published.

You know me so that I will provide you with answers to your questions, that I will give you impulses, offer you solutions, strengthen you and bring you a little closer to yourself and your true self.

I don't know if I can do this job today. But I am sure that there is a reason why you ended up here with me right now and I therefore trust that I can at least touch you with my words and reach you on one level or another.

People who change our lives

I am sure that you have already had or still have this person in your life.

People with whom you have a very special connection. People you seem to have known forever. People who seem like "skillful angels" to you.

You meet them on different levels. Maybe in a love or partnership, maybe in a wonderful friendship or even in a professional environment.

But one thing is always the same: you love these people in a way that is not "normal" and you decide for yourself that they play such an important role in your life and your emotional world that you won't let them go want.

It becomes mutual love

The nice thing is that this feeling is not just one-sided. You both feel it. It connects you in a way that is indescribable.

Spiritual teachers might say that you have made a soul contract, that you have a common purpose, that you have promised to help each other in your life.

Soul connection, karma, dual souls ... there are many "official" terms for it. I don't think we need to name it. But you know what feeling I am talking about and not only you know it; you know it both.

You tell yourself too, you share it and you enjoy it. There is no shame or limitation. It's just pure love.

It feels like the world is going to end - everything could turn against you, but YOU always will duo give.

I am deliberately speaking of love But of course this special feeling does not only exist in love connections or partnerships.

I myself have been able to experience this feeling more than once. I remember the most special meeting of all of them to this day in the smallest detail and this will probably not change until the end of my life.

I met this person for the first time that day. Until now completely unknown but already after the greeting I knew:

This person will play an important role in my life!

And even if it seemed completely absurd, I shouldn't be mistaken. Do you know these encounters too?

What's the point

Well ... I already mentioned the official variants to you above. So I can only add my personal opinion here.

I am 100% sure for myself that these encounters are meant for exactly how they feel. They should last a lifetime, pursue a deeper meaning and a very specific task.

What are these tasks?

Just as diverse as these common tasks can be, I am just as sure that souls and hearts will guide us precisely on this path to be solved.

I have never even seen this task remain unclear.

"Unfortunately" these tasks are often not easy and demand everything from us. That’s why we’re allowed to solve them in pairs.

This can be about experiencing true love. To feel what our heart really wants and what our soul searches for in its depth, even if we do not want to admit it ourselves or even reject it.

The goal can be to build and enter into a lifelong connection that will carry us through the different phases of life and give us support and strength.

It may also be about recognizing something in one's counterpart that in part also belongs to us. We then accept this share for ourselves.

It can also be a teacher / student connection.

There are certainly many other options. Feel free to add your experiences to them.

What it is for sure Not go are pain, disappointment and sorry ...

Still it goes wrong ...

I wouldn't write these lines today if everything was so easy.

Because unfortunately it is not always the case that these tasks are accepted and solved.

On the contrary, there is even a break, disappointment and suffering.

It breaks a bond that seemed indestructible.

90% of the time this is not done by mutual agreement, but one of the parties involved suddenly breaks out.

Very often in a completely unprepared moment, which of course makes the pain infinitely great.

Here it meets the dream couple, the admired friendships and the "one heart and one soul" people. By the way, I am not talking about an outward appearance, but of the inner truth.

But why?

Why do these people, whom we have loved most and who have also sworn to be forever connected, so often hurt us the most?

The answer to this question often lies in the common task.

We humans are not remote-controlled puppets. We have been honored with the greatest gift: our free will!

What does that mean?

You have the opportunity to make your own decisions at every moment in your life. It doesn't matter whether they correspond to your "soul truth" or not.

You can finish your job here and now, leave your partner, emigrate, jump off the bridge and change your whole life with it.

We always have a choice ...

Now it is just the case that (as already described above) our common tasks are not always easy. Often we have to leave our comfort zone, face our fears, live our uncomfortable truth or completely change our lives.

Our counterpart in these wonderful relationships shows us not only all his great qualities but also these topics again and again.

Of course that hurts. So in addition to all the love we also have a feeling of pain, which is triggered by our 2nd part.

Heart against head

And now the fight heart against head often begins ...

I am sure that both parties know exactly what is actually "the right" way.

In spite of everything, different approaches now start with the same topic.

The soul has brought both people to the same point. They both feel the same feeling: this deep love and connection but also the overcoming of the fears and the hurdles that the continuation of this connection would bring with it.

The Heart peoplewho has already acted from the heart anyway, it is a little easier to deal with these situations.

It is clear to him that the feeling of what is waiting at the end of the path and that he can already feel so strongly will be the greatest reward life can give him. He must now look not to rush everything here, to take one step at a time and to give it all time.

The Head man Much of it is stuck in his fear and disapproval of himself. He can't tell this mishmash of emotions apart. The fear that he is now allowed to overcome in order to finally leave it behind, he perceives as an indication that he is making a mistake. Even if his insides clearly signal to him that this is not the case, he tries to get himself out of this situation over his head.

A break occurs, mostly "caused" by the head person, because he can manage to escape from this situation through his mind.

And as you can already guess, heart and head people often meet. Actually, to balance yourself out and to learn from yourself. Often, however, a lack of understanding of the behavior of the other leads to the opposite.

Love turns into pain

And now the once common path often turns into a path of disappointment and pain.

The Heart man suffers and hopes because he cannot understand that one can permanently oppose his feelings, his soul path and his truth. Often he can't really let go, he clings, often seeks contact and the conversation runs against a wall.

The Head man now goes into the security of his mind. It usually cools off completely on the outside, so that we think we have another person in front of us. He directs his life in the ways in which it belongs in his opinion. In order not to continue to be confronted with his feelings, he of course has to throw his counterpart out of life. He feels the pain and also the longing, but he forbids himself to feel any kind of feeling.

Is there a happy ending?

I wish I could just answer that question with a "YES!" answer.

Unfortunately, I cannot promise you that with a clear conscience, neither from my coaching experience nor from my own life.

Free will is paramount and so can one Heart man of course decide for yourself not to forgive your counterpart anymore and a Head man can spend his life in the mind and live his life as a lie.

I've seen or seen so many stories here.

  • Accepted manipulation from outside up to sects, which especially like to "take care of" the shaken head-people.
  • Newly created relationships, friendships and complete lives based on lies and mind.
  • Complete rejection of one's own truth.
  • Undoing after running.
  • Hate wars of people who were once inseparable.

You only have this one life in this moment: don't let any of the above take over this life.

My promise

But I can promise you one thing: the heart and soul of both She will always point those involved in the right direction. Through misses, thoughts, feelings and external impulses. Because the ultimate goal is to accomplish the common task.

The decision to take the right path is up to us!

What can you do?

I would like to at least give you something else you can do for yourself.

As Heart man let go and carry your counterpart in your heart. Say what else there is to say so that you can move on in peace. Do not lose sight of yourself and do not doubt yourself. Be open to the words of the other, if the day comes when he / she takes a step towards you. No matter how small this step, it is huge for him or her! Open your arms if it's not too late (yes, that can of course also happen).

As Head man trust in the call of your soul. Let your heart out of its cage again and face your true fears that you have not yet looked at. You have been led to this situation in order to turn to it, to accept your truth and to live. An escape, a repression and a life in a lie and without feeling is not part of your soul plan.

Encounters and connections like yours are a gift and may never come back!

How are you now?

You know I always ask for feedback. This is particularly important to me today!

Have you experienced something like this before? Do you find yourself at one point? Do you have something to add or just a question?

Please leave me a comment!

Thank you for your time - your virtual coach Dirk