Is it true that children crave discipline?

Upbringing: Why Children Become Tyrants And Parents Are To Blame For It

And then there was a bang. Susanne Matthis * will never forget the look of her son, her shame as he ran to the door with a red cheek. "I'm never coming back!" He yelled as she tried to catch up with him. When the 49-year-old dental technician from a small town in northern Germany talks about the family celebration a year ago, her eyes still get wet.

Oskar, then eleven, had been mistaken all day. At first he was reluctant to shake hands with the hostess, then he demonstratively played with the smartphone during a speech. Again and again his mother asked him in a friendly whisper to at least turn off the sound. Instead, Oskar shouted “eh Brussels sprouts!” When the main course was served. Then she vented her anger, her anger at her son, whose moods she hadn't been able to endure for a long time. She knows it wasn't right to strike. “I should have pulled the brakes much earlier,” she says today.

Torn between looking after and overprotecting

Matthis felt like many other mothers and fathers who are at the end of their tether, who are losing their nerve, reacting disproportionately. Your children no longer know any boundaries, and as parents they do not know how to recapture the raging offspring. Family counseling centers can hardly save themselves from inquiries. If you search for the keyword “education” on Amazon, you will get almost 82,000 book suggestions. Parents are torn between the countless ideas of how they should educate, unsure how to keep the balance between encouraging and overburdening, between looking after and overprotecting.

Educators also complain that it is becoming more difficult to find the right way to deal with the students. A recent survey of 500 teachers carried out by the Forsa Institute on behalf of the DAK comes to the conclusion that the physical and mental problems of German primary school students have increased significantly. In addition to motor weaknesses, delays in language development and being overweight, the teachers mentioned difficulty concentrating and socially abnormal behavior.

Why is that? Are the children too unruly or the adults too weak? Meanwhile, the voices accusing parents of failure are increasing. In times of demanding careers, complicated patchwork structures and liberal ideals of life, there was a lack of strength and courage for an education with clear messages. Especially those who only wanted harmony at home get the receipt - in the form of a whining, raving child who can no longer be reached with kind words.

Is a generation of narcissists growing up?