What time do women get horny?
Seven sex phases in life:
Not all sex is the same. It changes just like life itself. While young couples usually have sex very often, the frequency decreases over the years. But that doesn't detract from the fun of it. A sex therapist explained why.
For Dr. Kurt Seikowski from the Society for Sexual Sciences, there are roughly seven phases that characterize the love life.
Sex in youth: try as often and as much as possible
At a young age, sex is new and exciting. During puberty, young people are particularly keen to experiment and are often sexually active - often with changing partners. You want to try yourself out, experience new things and enjoy the previously unknown sexual desire. The desire is particularly great now.
"This is done very skilfully by nature. The young body is designed to reproduce. Women are now most fertile, the sperm production in young men is in full swing. This is also reflected in the sexual life of pubescent and young adults." explains Seikowski. However, fulfillment only comes with time.
"But despite the often pronounced sexuality, many people find love play to be significantly less fulfilling than it is from the age of 30. One of the reasons for this is that foreplay is often not given the necessary attention."
Sex at 30: women's ability to orgasm increases
The wealth of sexual experience grows over the years. At some point you know exactly what you like and what you don't, and you know your needs and preferences. The pressure to have to prove something to yourself and your partner also decreases. In addition, new facets enrich love play. "Tenderness and sensuality come more into focus. It's less about the act itself, but more about the trappings. Oral sex, caresses and eroticism then play a far more important role than is the case at a young age. As a result, also takes Many women are able to orgasm ", says the sexologist.
Intermediate phase: planning children - being parents
Parenthood also influences sex life and that starts with the planning. "Then sex is often only used as a means to an end. Depending on the fertile days, many couples plan sex appointments and focus their togetherness on family planning. In doing so, the passion and desire are often lost," explains the therapist.
The pressure increases, especially if the desired success is not achieved immediately. And that has consequences: Studies have shown that many men who want to have children have a lower sperm quality and women’s desire to have sex decreases significantly.
Here Seikowski advises not to see sex as a "competitive sport for starting a family", but as an act of closeness. "Otherwise, in the worst case, love will suffer - especially if the desire to have children remains unfulfilled for a long time," he warns.
For many parents, sex is initially uninteresting
Once the children are there, sex no longer plays a role for many parents. The child takes the full attention of his or her parents. This is the phase in which the couple often sees themselves only as mother and father and no longer as man and woman with sexual attraction. "This phase can be a great burden for the relationship. Especially if the couple moves in this neutral state over the long term," warns Seikowski. He advises parents to take time off regularly and also to spend time without the children.
Sex from 40: more serenity and more enjoyment
Between the ages of 40 and 50, many couples experience a new peak of pleasure. The children are out of the woods and family planning is mostly done. The couple enjoys the new freedom and time together. In addition, many women develop a new self-confidence in bed: Now they want to be pampered and get their money's worth. They have been withdrawn for the family long enough. The relationship to one's own body is also more relaxed. Possible problem areas take a back seat, small flaws are accepted and loved.
We have long known what pleases and what the body reacts to with particular pleasure. As a result, many couples find it easier to speak openly about their wishes and needs. The sex becomes more open. "Women in particular long for more variety in bed," says Seikowski
It becomes problematic, however, if a partner does not share this new joy in experimentation: "Boredom is a danger for love, especially in this phase of pleasure. The same rut arouses in many the desire to break out and experience something new and exciting. I advise mine Patients are therefore more willing to experiment, "says Seikowski. If the sexual needs remain unfulfilled, the risk of an affair increases, according to the expert.
From 50: less often, more intensely
From the age of 50 onwards, the formation of sex hormones decreases more and more and the desire also decreases. Even without much sex, most couples are happy. The focus is often more on shared hobbies, travel and experiences. "Even if the frequency of sex is decreasing, it is felt by many to be particularly fulfilling and sensual right now. One of the reasons for this is that dealing with sexuality is now one of the most relaxed," says Seikowski.
Even at 70, it's not over yet
In old age, pleasure goes downhill, but the feeling of pleasure is still active. However, it is now a matter of adjusting to age and its physical concomitants. Illnesses and a lack of potency in men require a new approach to making love together. "The couple then has to find out what is still possible and what gives both of them pleasure," says Seikowski. It becomes a bit more romantic again: "The need for tenderness is particularly pronounced in old age."
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