How can I go on

Never give up! Why you should go ahead

Intentions, plans, goals - it's good when we set out to do something. This is the only way we can develop and achieve something. As long as this is not a fixed idea or an ad-hoc idea, but rather something more, it is accompanied by another phenomenon: resistance. Be it from outside, through critics or setbacks - or through ourselves: through doubts, frustration, moderate success. The result: Many then just want to give up, throw in the gun, draw a line. Giving up is just more convenient. The effort stops immediately, the critics fall silent (triumphant), the suffering is over ... For now. Because what's coming now can be even more agonizing. The anxious question: What happened if…? What if I didn't give up? Did I give up too early? But how do you find out?

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Giving up: tempting but wrong

Good question. Difficult question. A general and unambiguous answer Unfortunately, there can be no such thing. But let's take a closer look ...

Quit your studies, quit your job during your probationary period, give up your self-employment after a few months ... There are countless opportunities to give up (prematurely) and to throw in the towel. And the following applies to all: Giving up is the easiest way. That’s why it’s so tempting.

As soon as we experience defeats, setbacks or resistance, ours leaves Motivation regularly going downhill. When things are not going as expected or when more work and energy have to be invested in order to continue (although the future remains uncertain), many prefer to pull the rip cord and paint the sails.

That is understandable, downright human. After all, that is Path of Least Resistance particularly easy to walk on. No more hurdles to overcome; no stones that are put in your way and no other opinions that you have to assert yourself against.

Still can give up in many cases the wrong decision be.

Especially when we blind and reflexive the task impulse ("I don't like anymore") without having any real reasons for doing so.

Please always make yourself clear: Under stress (and resistance causes great stress) our brain reacts with an automatic mechanism: We reel off our original program, the mind takes a short break and the apparently only visible options are: Attack, paralysis, flight.

It would be foolish, however, to share one's dreams, goals and matters of the heart simple biochemical reaction to sacrifice. Because what looks easy at first often has long-term consequencesthat many are not even aware of when deciding to give up:

  • You lose your confidence.

    Whoever gives up again and again, at some point no longer believes that he can achieve anything and also bring it to an end. Belief in one's own abilities dwindles and self-confidence shrinks.

  • You do not live up to your own expectations.

    We usually expect a lot from ourselves - and giving up is usually not one of them. It is painful not to live up to your expectations and to disappoint yourself.

  • You do not achieve any goals.

    It is not always a major tragedy for every goal when you give up (sometimes it is right). But if giving up becomes chronic and a habit, you will only look at the really important goals from a distance.

  • They don't evolve.

    We grow with challenges, difficult situations, mistakes and problems. Those who always avoid all of this cannot grow beyond themselves and personal development falls by the wayside.

  • You have to deal with the doubts.

    Doubt is part of every risk. Nobody knows the future. And if there was a guarantee of success, life would be a pony farm. But it is a dangerous misconception that when you give up, doubts also disappear. The opposite is true: Could it have worked?, What would have happened if I hadn't given up? Such questions can reverberate for years and be much more agonizing than failure.

    Even more: most of them People repent at the end of their lives, never the things that they dared and didn't work out - they regret the things they always wanted to do and didn't do!

Give up so as not to fail?

If you try something, you can lose. Whoever gives up has already lost. - This is easier said than done, especially in a professional context. Failure is still seen as a serious failure in many areas. It looks like a blemish, a dark spot on an otherwise white vest.

This leads to Avoid mistakes and setbacks right from the start or even be covered up in the end. We make up excuses, look for someone to blame, and distract. The main thing is not done wrong.

In the long run, however, one will emerge dangerous downward spiral: New paths are not tried out, investments are not implemented consistently, goals are not seriously pursued. In short: it is given up before it even starts in order not to expose oneself to the risk of failure in the first place.

The fear of the possible Reputational damage (for the company) acts on all levels - personal as well as entrepreneurial - like a brake that blocks development and lets dreams die. In short, it is a point of view that you have to break away from if you want to achieve great things.

Never give up! - Bad reasons for giving up

Now you have to honestly admit that the appeal "Never give up!" is wrong in this diction. There are certainly situations in which it is wiser not to continue, to persevere, to invest even more time or money. The train has left, the project has failed Thing just doesn't work (or not so). Giving up and rearranging yourself is definitely a better choice here.

So it is not a mistake if you decide to repeatedly subject your chosen path to a kind of critical self-test and then to do it again rethinkwhether it really is that smart to carry on. You may even have to tweak a few tweaks to get things going again.

There is always a wide gap between the two extreme poles - give up and carry on (as before) Gray area for course corrections and improvements.

But there is an important solution to this: whether you give up or continue (differently) - you should always do it for the right reasons. Never reflexively and certainly not impulsively. Easy Throwing it down is not a solution.

In fact it gets way too often abandoned for the wrong reasons. And it is precisely these that need to be recognized and questioned. The following list should help you do just that:

  1. Your goals are not up to the norm.

    Goals are individual every time. They can therefore deviate from accepted standards. It is logical that there is irritation and incomprehension in the environment. In short: people talk you out of it or break it. Such reactions can be discouraging and lead to doubt. The resistance mostly only shows the (spiritual) limits of those who react in this way - they are not your limits! Other people do not necessarily have to understand or even support them. It is crucial that you continue to stand by your project.

  2. They don't believe in your abilities.

    Whenever you try new things, you inevitably push boundaries - your own. You broaden your horizons, develop new skills and gain new experience. It goes without saying that not everything works right away and that you have to learn here and there. But that doesn't mean that you basically can't. You are on the way, but not there yet. To give up would be to betray your goal just because the road is rocky. Please never underestimate your potential! Instead of thinking: “I definitely won't be able to do this!” You prefer to say to yourself: “That's what I am for not yet good enough."

  3. It's harder than you expected.

    This point is closely related to the previous one. Just because you're struggling with a few issues right now doesn't mean giving up. Rather, be aware of why you started in the first place. After all, there was a reason for that. And it doesn't go away just because it gets difficult. No matter what you want to achieve: problems are part of it and obstacles have to be overcome. If you give up on each step, you can climb right in front of the stairs.

  4. You are waiting for the perfect time.

    If-then-thinking is dangerous. Sure, the right timing can have a big impact on success. But if you are always waiting for the perfect time, you will most likely miss it. Let's be honest: behind sentences like "If first XY, then ..." Often only excuses are hidden. A simple avoidance strategy and yes-but-attitude.

  5. Others have already failed.

    As you work towards your goal, sooner or later you will meet people who have pursued similar goals and failed at them. By their very nature, such failures and examples can be daunting. After the initial irritation, however, you have two options: you can get discouraged and assume that you won't make it either. Or you can learn from the mistakes of others and avoid them along the way. Failures of others are usually no reason to give up, on the contrary: You have found a way that doesn't work. Class! This helps you to optimize your own path even further.

  6. It's not going as fast as you want it to be.

    It's all well and good that you have set a timeframe for yourself. After all, limits and deadlines are our friend (see also 72-hour rule). Sometimes, however, the circumstances do not adhere to such guidelines. Perhaps the framework was set too narrow or you planned too much at once. But give up because of that? Not a good idea! Just because things are progressing more slowly than planned, you are not on the wrong track. What you are missing is perhaps just a little more patience and perseverance.

  7. You are not honest with yourself.

    If you set yourself ambitious goals or want to realize big dreams, there is usually a long way to go. Quite a few do not want to admit that and prefer to dream of instant success and an overnight career from dishwasher to millionaire. Fatal! There is no such thing (even if many earn their money by selling you exactly this illusion). When some then wake up from their pink dream, they are initially mad (at themselves) and would like to give up. That is not a good reason either. The goal is right - but so far you have not had a realistic view of how (and when) you will achieve the same. But knowledge is the first step to more Self-awareness in the literal sense. It is better to cultivate an attitude of realistic optimism and approach your goal pragmatically and consistently. Then you will achieve it in perspective.

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October 30, 2020Author: Jochen Mai

Jochen Mai is the founder and editor-in-chief of the career bible. The author of several books lectures at the TH Köln and is a sought-after keynote speaker, coach and consultant.

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