Are ESFP and ISFP relationships working



Love & partnership
Who fits who?

NOTE:this page is not up to date and will no longer be updated. More information about the characteristics is available under the current heading Personality characteristics.

What about love and partnership from the perspective of personality and the type test: Can you use it to find a partner? And can it help to improve an existing relationship?

Kin short:
All types, regardless of their personality traits, can have a successful relationship with one another; everyone suits everyone.

However, there are differences in the nature of the relationship. The type test can help to identify the similarities between the partners and to overcome differences.

Partner search
Which type is best for whom?

There are two different concepts that everyone has heard of:

1. Similaritiesare best for a relationship.
2. differences attract and complement each other.

There are many different opinions and vehement supporters on both sides: some are convinced that only a couple with as many common characteristics as possible can work well. Others, on the other hand, are of the opinion that as many different characteristics as possible are necessary in order to achieve a balance and mutual complementarity in the partnership.

Both are correct. Scientific studies (see sources) have shown that we do not choose a specific personality type as a partner. The choice is rather random and depends on other factors. Couples of all different types are found in similar numbers, and any type can have a successful relationship with any type. Because even when it comes to the success of a relationship or conflicts in a relationship, studies have shown that neither special similarities are required in terms of type, nor that there are big differences in type to be happy. In simple words: basically every type suits everyone.

Appearance, attractiveness, age, social status, origin, family, personal values, life experiences, job, intelligence and much more. are all things that play a role in choosing a partner. The type is just one of many factors that influence the choice of partner.

Of course, some people feel particularly attracted to certain personality types and cannot even imagine a relationship with certain other types. But that has more to do with personal preferences - regardless of type.

There are various theories that say that a successful relationship is mainly possible with certain types of types (e.g. with the exact opposite of the respective type). However, these are mostly unrealistic, incorrect models because they have not been checked in practice (e.g. those from Myers Briggs (MBTI), David Keirsey or Socionics). Because in real life there are couples of all kinds of types who get along well, and there is no clear tendency that only certain types attract each other or get along with each other. This has been confirmed again and again in studies (see sources).

Nevertheless, it of course makes a difference whether you have a lot in common with your partner or whether you have the opposite polarity: the partners can complement each other better through differences, and they understand the other person's personality better through similarities.

Nevertheless: a successful relationship is possible with every guy.
Everyone should think for themselves what is important to them in their partner, and whether the personality, as measured by the type test or the Big Five, belongs to it or not. The type test can definitely help you understand your partner better and improve the relationship. No matter whether you are similar or not.

There are a lot of tips in the Type test book and in short form dealing with the other guys.

Also very important in relationships: empathy.

More on extreme expressions of personality traits under the topic of personality disorder, on emotional sensitivity under neuroticism.


Studies on partnership and types:
- Relationships between Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) Psychological Type and Marital Satisfaction, Divorce Proneness, Positive Affect, and Conflict Regulation in Clinic Couples, Seong Sook Kong, 2010
- The relationship between partner differences in Jungian psychological type and marital satisfaction by Miller, Denise N., Ph.D., 2006
- The role of personality in task and relationship conflict, JE Bono, TL Boles, TA Judge, 2002
- Genetic and Environmental Influences on the Continuous Scales of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator: An Analysis Based on Twins Reared Apart, Bouchard Jr., Thomas J .; Hur, Yoon-Mi, 1998
- Similarity between partners in real and perceived personality traits as measured by the Myers-Briggs type indicator, Nordvik H., 1996
- The Validity of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator for Predicting Expressed Marital Problems., Douglass, Frazier M., IV; Douglass, Robin, 1993
- Studies of Jungian typology: III. Personality and marriage., Carlson R, Williams J., 1984