What do you judge harshly about yourself

That is why we prefer to judge others than ourselves

As soon as the new one is over the doorstep, people are already being blasphemed. We judge not only new colleagues, but also new customers, business partners, acquaintances and friends before they can say "Hello". Our judgment over other people is quick. Sometimes we revise it. But more often we hold on to it. Once liked, it sticks more stubbornly than chewing gum under the shoe. Dangerous! Anyone who constantly talks good or bad about others reveals one thing above all: a lot about themselves own character

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Why do we judge others?

Already in the Bible it says in the letter to the Romans:

You are not the master of your neighbor. So what right do you want to condemn him?

And Matthew wrote:

Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For with whatever judgment you judge, you will be judged, and with whatever measure you measure, it will be measured to you.

Pious wishes. Unfortunately, we hardly stick to it. Already in the first second of getting to know each other we direct our counterpart. Even if we only see the person in a photo!

Scientists at Cornell University, for example, showed their test subjects photos of women.

  • Sometimes they smiled.
  • Sometimes they looked disgruntled.

If the participants had the feeling that the person in the photo was a friendly and open woman, this first impression lasted after both of them met personally had.

On the other hand, did they have that impressionThat impression also outlasted the conversation that the woman in the photo was unsympathetic.

The joke about it: The woman in the photo was always same person. Once she had looked lovingly into the camera, another time she had made an unbearable impression.

The first impression works - but sometimes it is deceptive.

This is why reviews are sometimes useful

But why we judge any other at all? In addition, often condescending and negative?

Most of all on Competitors we seldom leave a good hair.

From an evolutionary point of view, that makes sense. Who else degraded, thereby enhances itself. The higher your own status, your own self-image and self-perception, the greater our self-esteem and self-confidence. That, in turn, is felt by our surroundings - and our reputation and status increase. A kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Numerous celebrity TV programs of the type “jungle camp” or “bachelor / bachelorette” are based on the effect. You could also call it Trash TV Syndrome denote: Those who can blaspheme the protagonists can feel all the more sublime, smarter, better at the same time.

But it is also the case that Judgments can contribute enormously to success through others - especially in a professional context. How else do you, for example, have a clear conscience ...

  • recruit new employees?
  • put together an effective team?
  • Make decision?
  • Find a partner for a startup?

For all these interpersonal constellations you need Knowledge of human nature. After all, nobody wants to have to work with a psychopath later.

What is interesting is that - according to psychologists - we divide people into two main categories:

We like people who are warm and knowledgeable. And we despise those who are cold and incompetent. Cold but competent people envy we in turn. We pity warm but incompetent people.

Why we can judge strangers better

It goes so far that other people sometimes better judge can than we ourselves.

According to Simine Vazire of Washington State University, we know best ourselves which ones neurotic tics we have. Or how scared we are. But: Friends are possibly better barometers when it comes to characteristics such as intelligence and creativity.

Even complete strangers would immediately notice how introverted or extroverted someone is. "Personality is not how you think you are, but how you are"says the psychologist.

There is also an exciting experiment on this: the researchers played videos of couples for the test subjects. They, in turn, were able to make out who of the two with relative ease cheated would have. Something similar happened in an experiment with videos of speed data. How great the mutual romantic interest was could be assessed much better from the outside than by those affected.

Knowledge of human nature: Unfortunately, unevenly distributed

However, it is Knowledge of human nature not a gift that was distributed over humanity with the watering can. Some people make better, more accurate judgments than others.

Also the so-called Better-than-average effect plays a role here: According to this, people generally rate themselves better than others. And they often overestimate their own social skills - and you discernment.

According to an Oxford study, intelligent people, on the other hand, are characterized by the fact that they are more like their fellow men trust to meet.

But why?

One possible explanation: intelligent people have better judgment and a greater understanding of human nature than less intelligent people. That is why they primarily build Relationships with people that they can trust and that they are less likely to betray.

Those who judge other people reveal themselves

As natural (and at times necessary) it is that we judge other people - it can be as treacherous and dangerous as that.

You may know the smart one Bon mot:

What Peter says about Paul says more about Peter than about Paul.

A relative aphorism reads: "If you point one finger at another person, four fingers point back at you." And it's true: every statement we make about others says a lot about us (indirectly). As we judge others, reveals how we think (about others) - in which patterns, templates and prejudices.

Just immature characters and personalities can be easily recognized by the fact that they are mainly defined by delimitation: “That's not cool; it hasn't been in for a long time; unprofessional, ... " You need that devaluation others in order to be more sure of themselves, in order to recognize oneself. Or just to feel better on your own.

Self-exaltation through humiliation. It is not uncommon for someone to reveal himself who has never got beyond the spiritual development of a sandpit soul. And a veritable profile neurosis.

But the reverse is also true: Those who express themselves primarily positively about others reveal themselves positive mind, for example, believes Dustin Wood from Wake Forest University. “Judging others positively reveals our own positive propertiessaid the social psychologist. Such people are usually more passionate, happier, more polite, more kind-hearted and emotionally more stable.

On the other hand, those who often speak badly to others are often narcissistic and anti-social. “The simple tendency to see other people in a negative light is more likely to depressions and various Personality disorders connected"Wood believes.

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