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High expectations of others: learn to let go!

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Friends have to be by my side at every opportunity, if I don't get in touch, others have to call me to hear how I'm doing, if I give a colleague a task or simply work with him, everything has to be flawless. Do these thoughts sound familiar? Then you probably belong to every kind of person high expectations of others represents. They expect nothing less than the absolute best, always. In the long run no one can fulfill this and so the resulting conflict is inevitable and recurring. Why yourself high expectations of others are so often not worthwhilewhat expectations you should drop from others and how you can learn to let go of them ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

High expectations lead to frustration and grief

Expectations are quite normal and belong to the coexistence of people. No matter what situation we meet someone else in, we always have certain expectations of that person. The boss is expected to keep track of things and to delegate tasks, colleagues should support and function well in the team, if we have an appointment with a friend, we expect him to be on time, we expect loyalty from the partner and from other people we want to be treated with decency and respect in general.

There is nothing wrong with expectations like in this example. They show how we imagine living together and which ones Values ​​and characteristics are anchored in our personality. It becomes problematic when you have far too high expectations of other bodies.

Your partner should give you each Read desire from your eyes and you expect a fully developed concept from your colleagues that only needs to be presented.

Such high expectations of others usually arise when these are also placed on oneself. who expected nothing but perfection from oneself, applies this standard to other people as well. In both cases, the high expectations inevitably lead to frustration and grief.

It is simply not possible to meet them. The more you expect from others, the more more inevitable it is that your expectations will be disappointed. What follows is the feeling of not being able to rely on anyone. A predicament that you have created for yourself through your high expectations.

It is more beneficial for your own mood and general satisfaction lower your own expectations. Unfortunately, it's not that easy at all ...

Let go of these high expectations of others

Hardly anyone can completely absolve themselves of having high expectations of others. This does not have to run through the whole of life, it can only run itself in individual aspects demonstrate. Perhaps you are particularly ambitious in your job and expect impeccable work from your colleagues and team members, or you take your hobby very seriously and expect your teammates to approach the matter just as seriously.

Recognizing these too high expectations is the first step in reacting to them properly and reducing expectations. And then there are some expectations of others that you let go completely should.

  • Expectation too high: perfection in general

    This point is worth mentioning separately. No matter what your expectations are of other people, you should never expect perfection. Anyone can make mistakes, be wrong or make a mistake. The expectation of perfection puts others under enormous pressure and on top of that it is unfair as it can never be fulfilled.

    Grant everyone to make mistakes or behave differently from what you would expect them to do.

  • Expectation too high: accept tasks

    Whether in your job or in your private life: Nobody else is responsible for completing your tasks and you shouldn't expect anyone else to do the same. If someone helps and lends you a hand, this is it a kindness and not a permanent statethat you should simply assume in the future.

  • Expectation too high: meet your own standards

    What you expect from yourself, is a thing in itself. In any case, it is wrong to have these expectations of others as well. Just because you expect a 1.0 Abitur with a subsequent summa cum laude degree does not mean that everyone else will automatically go wrong who chooses a different path.

  • Expectation too high: read minds

    Other people have to know what's going on inside me and understand what I'm thinking ... No, they don't have to. You can't expect anyone to read your mind. If something is on your mind, you long for something or you want to reject something, you have to say this. Communication works through words and body language, not mind reading.

  • Expectation too high: constant approval

    A good friend is particularly happy to have this expectation. With every discussion and every decision only encouragement and understanding expected. However, that is asking a lot. Don't tell anyone what to think or how to behave towards you. In doing so, you take the chance for an honest opinion for yourself.

  • Expectation too high: give happiness

    Unfortunately, many people make the mistake of relying on someone else for their personal happiness. It is expected that this person - mostly your partner, but also friends - will make you happy. These But responsibility lies entirely with you and you can't expect someone else to do this.

Tips for letting go of high expectations of others

High expectations of others have usually settled in one's own thoughts over the years. The harder it is to let go of them and return to normal levels. Difficult, maybe, but luckily not impossible. The very realization that your expectations are too high and perhaps completely unrealistic is the beginning of recovery.

To use the momentum, here's another one a few Tippsto help you let go of your excessive expectations of others:

  • Expect less of yourself

    Those who reduce their expectations of themselves can also let go of their high expectations of others. Learn to be content with what you have and be more grateful. The more you succeed in this, the less you will expect from others.

  • Realize the consequences

    Constant arguments about unfulfilled expectations, frustration with the situation and problems, building long-term relationships. These are just a few of the disadvantages of having high expectations. In the worst case, the constant disappointment can lead to depression. Is it really worth it?

  • Rely on clear and open communication

    In order to lower the expectations, it can help to express them openly and to talk about them with the people to whom they are put. Explain it as exactly as possible what you expect and take your time to listen to what the other has to say. In such an exchange, you can quickly see whether your expectations are too high - and you can correct them directly downwards.

  • Touch your own nose

    Turn the tables once: Imagine being confronted with expectations that you cannot possibly meet, anytime, anywhere. This is exactly the situation you bring your family, friends and colleagues into. Make yourself aware of the pressure and stress you are creating with it.

High expectations: sayings and quotes

  • Both harm themselves: those who promise too much and who expect too much.Gotthold Ephraim Lessing
  • Ask a lot of yourself and expect little from others. That way you'll avoid a lot of problems.Confucius
  • The biggest obstacle to happiness is high expectations.Unknown
  • Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they will never be disappointed.Alexander Pope
  • Tense expectation is seldom satisfied.Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  • It is human nature to ask more and more of oneself and of others the more one has received.Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  • The biggest disappointments stem from expectations that are too high.Ernst Ferstl
  • If we lower our expectations, we will experience satisfaction.Dalai Lama

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September 18, 2020Author: Nils Warkentin

Nils Warkentin studied business administration at the Justus Liebig University in Giessen. In the career bible, he is devoted to topics related to studies, career entry and everyday office life.

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