What is a good example of bad parenting

Marriage and Parenthood - How We Prepare Our Families for Eternal Life

From the life of Wilford Woodruff

Wilford Woodruff and Phoebe Whittemore Carter were married on April 13, 1837 in Kirtland. During their life together they went through many trials that increased their love for one another, for their children and for the kingdom of God. They had such an experience in the winter of 1838, five months before Wilford Woodruff was called to be an apostle. Brother Woodruff led a group that wanted to join other members of the Church. In the process, his wife became very sick. He later told:

“On November 23, my wife Phoebe suddenly had a bad headache, it was meningitis. Her condition got worse day by day. It was a terrible ordeal for a woman so sick to drive over bumpy roads in a car. Our child was also very sick at the time. "

In the days that followed, Sister Woodruff's condition worsened, despite finding rest stops and taking breaks along the way. Brother Woodruff says: “On December 3rd, my wife was very badly. I looked after them all day and returned to Eaton [a nearby town] the following day to get them something. She seemed to be nearing its end, and in the evening it looked as if her mind had left her body and she was dead.

The sisters stood around them weeping while I watched them with sorrow. Suddenly the spirit and the power of God rested on me until my soul was filled with faith for the first time during her illness, although she lay dead before me. "

Empowered in faith, Wilford Woodruff gave his wife a priesthood blessing. “I laid my hands on her,” he said, “and in the name of Jesus Christ I rebuked the power of death and the destroyer and commanded him to leave her and let life return to her body.

Her spirit returned to her body and from that hour onwards she was healthy. We all praised God's name and wanted to trust in him and keep his commandments.

While all of this was happening (as my wife told me later), her mind had left her body and she saw her body lying on the bed and the sisters crying. She looked at her, she looked at me and her baby, and while she was looking at it all two beings came into the room. ... One of the beings told her that she had a choice: she could go to the spirit world and find rest there or, under one condition, could return to her earthly shell and continue her work on earth. The condition was whether she felt that she could stand by her husband's side and endure with him all the worries, trials and tribulations that he would have to endure for the sake of the gospel. She looked at her husband and child and said, 'Yes, I will!'

When she made this decision, I received the power of faith, and when I gave her the blessing of the sick, her spirit returned to its earthly shell. ...

On the morning of December 6th, the Spirit said to me, 'Get up and continue your journey!' And by the mercy of God my wife was able to get up and get dressed and go to the carriage, and we went on our way with joy . "1

Sister Woodruff never forgot her promise - she would stand by her husband even when his duties as an apostle required him to be separated from the family for long periods of time. On May 4, 1840, while Elder Woodruff was serving a mission in England, she wrote to him: “I know that it is God's will that you work in this vineyard, so I can submit to His will in it. I haven't grumbled or complained since you left, but I look forward to the day you return home to your family after completing your mission in love and fear of God. You are always with me when I turn to the throne of grace and ask for protection and blessings for me and the children. I ask the same for my dear husband, who is so far from me, yes in a strange land, to preach the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. "2

During such times of separation, President Woodruff also expressed his longing for his family, but with a determination to do the Lord's will. On April 3, 1847, he got ready to set off with the first pioneer division in the direction of the Salt Lake Valley. He wrote in his diary: “I have never been more concerned about leaving my family to serve a mission. I pray to God that he will keep me and my family so that we may meet again on earth, as he has done in the many missions that I have served in the Lord's vineyard. "3 Four days later, his family watched him leave the Winter Quarters settlement in Nebraska. He stopped on a ridge near the settlement and looked back at his family with the binoculars.4

Wilford Woodruff was glad to see that his family could last forever. This truth gave him strength to face life's difficulties. He said: “I often think: If I struggle until I am as old as Metuschelach and thereby my family can live with me in the eternal worlds in glory, then the reward is enough for all the pain and suffering that I am in this world can endure. "5 The promise of an eternal family influenced his behavior towards the members of his family. In a letter to his daughter Blanche, he once remarked: “We all expect to be together forever after death. I think that we as parents and children should spare no effort to make each other happy as long as we are alive, so that we don't have to regret anything. "6

Lessons from Wilford Woodruff

The blessings of marriage and parenting are far greater than worldly wealth.

The Lord has taught us that marriage is ordained by God for man [see D&C 49:15]. As we read, the institution of marriage is almost falling into disrepute in some communities. It is said that this tendency is increasing among our members as well. This has its origin undoubtedly in the increasing prosperity and in the fact that young men are reluctant to burden themselves with a wife and children. We are moving away from the simplicity of the old days and can probably expect this tendency to increase as young men may refrain from offering marriage to a young woman until they can offer her a comfortable home, as they can from their parents is used to. If the girls grow up with excessive demands, that too will deter the young men from marrying. ... Young people of both sexes should understand that happiness in marriage does not depend on wealth.7

When the daughters of Zion are asked by the young men whether they want to marry them, they should not ask, “Does this man have a nice house, a good team of horses, and a nice carriage?” Rather, they should ask, “Is he a man of God ? Does he have the Spirit of God with him? Is he a Latter-day Saint? Is he praying? Does the spirit rest on him, which enables him to build up the kingdom of God? ”If so, then leave the carriage and house aside, but shake hands and unite according to the law of God.8

It is the duty of the young men of Zion to marry a daughter of Zion and to prepare an earthly covering [a physical body] for the spirits of men, namely the children of our Heavenly Father. They are waiting to be given a body, they are meant to come to earth, and they should rather be born in Zion than in Babylon.9

I call on parents in Zion to do all they can to induce their sons and daughters to walk in the paths of righteousness and truth, taking advantage of every opportunity to improve. Do not allow your hearts to be attached to vanity and the concerns of the world, but realize that faithful children are among the most precious and greatest blessings.10

The blessing God has revealed to us in the patriarchal order of marriage, namely to be sealed for time and eternity, is not valued as highly as it should be.11

Let us treasure our families and the relationship we have with one another, and remember that if we are faithful we will inherit glory, immortality, and eternal life, the greatest of all of God's gifts [see D&C 14: 7] .12

Parents' teaching and example prepare children to serve in the Church and to remain faithful.

I never doubted the truth and the eventual triumph of this work. I don't have any today either. I have no doubt that Zion will become what the prophets foresaw in its glory, might, lordship and strength, and the power of God will rest upon it.

In view of all this, the question arises to me, about which I have pondered a lot and for a long time, who will take over this empire and move it forward. Who will the Lord hope in when it comes to leading this kingdom to its eventual triumph and preparing in perfection and glory for the coming of the Son of Man? To our sons and daughters. ... This kingdom must rest on their shoulders when their fathers have gone to the other side of the veil. I see it as clearly as the light of the sun in the firmament. And when I think about it, I wonder what the status of our young men and women are. As parents, are we doing our duty to them? Are you struggling to get ready and prepare for the great destiny, the great work that lies ahead?13

Neither of us knows which path our children will take one day. We set good examples for them and strive to teach them righteous principles. But when they reach the age of accountability, they have agency and control over themselves.14

In our zeal to preach the gospel to people of all nations, we must not neglect the task of properly raising our children and teaching them, while they are still young, a love of truth and virtue and respect for the holy and teach them the principles of the gospel.15

Let us strive to raise our children in the discipline and direction of the Lord [see Ephesians 6: 4]. Let's lead by example and teach them good principles while they are little. They are given to us by Heavenly Father, they are our kingdom, the basis of our exaltation and glory, the planting of glory [see D&C 124: 61]. We must strive to raise them in faith in the Lord, teaching them the best we can to pray to and believe in the Lord so that when we die and they take our place on the stage of life, they will be responsible for Take charge of the great latter-day work of God's kingdom on earth.16

Those who live in a so-called civilized society learn moral laws, the Ten Commandments. They are taught not to lie, not to curse, not to steal, in short, not to do anything that society considers ungodly, unholy or dishonest. When parents teach these principles to their children early on, they memorize their minds, and when children reach the age of responsibility, those early impressions will affect their behavior throughout their lives. Children who have been shaped and raised in this way are dismayed to hear their peers curse or abuse the name of God, and should they ever learn to curse as well, it takes a lot of effort to overcome their early impressions.17

Children receive great blessings from their parents when they pray, teach them good principles, and set good examples. Parents cannot reprimand their children for something they do themselves.18

As we set a good example to our children and strive to teach them from childhood to adulthood, as we teach them to pray and to honor the Almighty, as we teach them the principles that will sustain them in every trial, so that the Spirit of the Lord may rest on them ... then they will not be easily led astray. The good impressions will stay with you throughout your life, and whatever principles you may hear, these good impressions remain.19

Smart parents do not allow outside concerns to take precedence over the family.

I have long believed that the devil goes to great lengths to drive a wedge between parents and children. He tries to bring to the minds of the sons and daughters of the saints pernicious ideas that prevent them from following in their parents' footsteps. ...

How important it is that we, as parents, be wise and wise as we teach our children in their youth the principles that will induce them to do what is right and live by the principles of righteousness and truth. ...

The important thing is to know what to do to win the affection of your children so that they may be guided on the path of salvation. Parents should not neglect learning and doing this. … Often we think business is so urgent that it is pushed out of our minds, but that shouldn't be. Anyone who has an open mind and looks expectantly at the work that lies ahead of us sees and feels that his responsibility for his own family and, above all, for the upbringing of his children is very great.

We want to save our children, let them enjoy all the blessings that surround the sanctified, and receive the blessings of their parents who were faithful to the fulness of the gospel.20

We all take care of our families. May everyone strive to lead their families and put their homes in order.21

The father should kindly and righteously preside over his family.

When I was a boy and went to school, the teacher always brought a bundle of sticks, over two meters long. We always had to expect a beating. We were beaten up for anything he didn't like. These blows were never good for me. … Goodness, gentleness, and mercy are better in every way. May our young men memorize this principle and stick to it in everything. Tyranny is no good whether exercised by a king, a president, or a servant of God. Kind words are far better than harsh words. Once we have difficulties with each other, we can save ourselves a lot of trouble if we treat each other in a friendly manner. ...

If you look at a family in which the man treats his wife and children kindly, you will find that they treat him the same way. I hear complaints about how some men treat their women. You don't care for them. You are not kind to them. That hurts me very much. That just can't be. ... We should be kind to one another, do each other good and contribute to the well-being and happiness of others, especially in our own household.

The man is the head of the family. He is the patriarch of the household. ... There is no more beautiful sight on earth than a man who leads his family, teaches righteous principles to his children, and gives them good advice. These children honor their father and find comfort and joy in having a righteous father for a father.22

A mother's teaching and example can influence her children in time and forever.

As a rule, we consider the mother to be the one who shapes the child's character. I believe the mother has a greater influence on her offspring than anyone else. It has already been asked: "When does this education begin?" Our prophets say: "As soon as the spirit that comes from God enters the earthly shell." At birth, the child is to a large extent guided by the teachings and example of the mother throughout its life. Its influence can be felt in time and in eternity.23

The responsibility to properly develop the intellectual and moral faculties of the younger generation rests on the shoulders of the mothers, whether in infancy, childhood or in later years. ... No mother in Israel should let a day go by without teaching her children to pray. Pray for yourself and teach your children to do the same. If you raise them like this, and once they take your place when you die, and carry on the great work of God, they will have internalized principles that will sustain them in time and eternity. I have said many times that it is the mother who shapes a child's mind. ...

Show me a mother who prays, who has passed the trials of life through prayer, who trusts in the Lord God of Israel in her trials and tribulations, and her children will follow her on this path. You will not forget this when it is your turn to work in the kingdom of God.24

Our sisters ... have duties to their husbands. You should take his position and circumstances into account. ... Every woman should be kind to her husband. She should comfort him and do him good as she can, under all circumstances. When the family is united, there will be a heavenly spirit on earth. That's how it should be. Because when a man in the church takes a wife, he assumes that he will be with her in time and eternity. On the morning of the first resurrection, he wants this woman and children to be with him as his family, so that he can remain connected to them forever and ever. What a wonderful thought!25

Suggestions for study and teaching

Keep these suggestions in mind as you study the chapter or as you prepare for the lesson. For further suggestions see page V-IX.

  • What impresses you about the relationship between Wilford and Phoebe Woodruff (see page 161ff.)?

  • Review the counsel President Woodruff gave to his daughter Blanche (p. 163). Think about it or discuss what you can do to keep family members happy.

  • What is impressive about President Woodruff's advice to the youth regarding marriage and parenting (see page 164)? How does this counsel apply to all members of the Church?

  • Read the last three paragraphs in the first section of the Doctrine (pages 164–16). How can “the vanity and concerns of the world” distract us from family joy? How can we counteract such influences? How can we show family members that our relationship with them means a lot to us?

  • Read the first paragraph on page 166 in full. What do you think it means to “raise our children in the discipline and direction of the Lord”? What did you do to make it happen?

  • Go through the third and fourth paragraphs on page 165 in full again. What can parents do to help their children develop a desire to serve in the Church?

  • As you read what President Woodruff said about teaching children, what specific principles do you see (see pp. 165–16)?

  • Review the section that begins on page 167. What can parents do to make family relationships a top priority?

  • What principles can parents learn from reading Wilford Woodruff's experience of his teacher (see page 168)?

  • What did President Woodruff say about the influence of husband and father (see pp. 168–16)? What did he say about the influence of the wife and mother (see pp. 169–167)? How can men and women support each other in their tasks?

  • How do the teachings in this chapter apply to grandparents? What experiences show that grandparents can also have a righteous influence over their grandchildren?

  • What examples do you know of how parents and grandparents performed their duties towards the family?

Related Scriptures: Enos 1: 1; Mosiah 4:14, 15; Alma 56: 45-48; D&C 68: 25-31; 93: 38-40