Crying is a symbol of weakness

Are men allowed to cry?

"Men have a hard time, take it easy, / hard on the outside and very soft on the inside / become a man even as a child calibrated / When is a man a man? / When is a man a man? When is a man a man? ... "

The German musician Herbert Grönemeyer dealt with the question of what is considered male in a humorous way in his song “Men”, published in 1984. Even as a child they are, as he puts it, on "calibrated " - Tested like a technical measuring device and adapted to a standard. They are determined by family and society Stereotypes, Patterns, given what is expected of you as a man, how you behave and what role you should take on. And the reactions are then correspondingly when behavior that is attributed more to women is shown, explains the chief physician at the Alexian St. Joseph Hospital in Berlin, Dr. Iris Hauth:

"That still tolerated is that a woman says, 'I'm afraid' than a man says, 'I'm afraid' '. I still explain this with behaviorstereotypes or with rolesstereotypes, with roles. "

Showing strength is behavior expected of men. Expressing fear is not properly accepted tolerated. What many people also cannot cope with are tears in a man, says Iris Hauth:

“I just had a patient who also said to me: 'My wife can't stand when I cry.' And in many strata of the population it is still the case, the man mustn't cry, the man mustn't be weak. But also, let's say, in Service provider structures it is like that, one must not admit that one is there something psychic.“

Crying is a sign of weakness in certain social classes. Also in so-called Service provider structures, i.e. responsible positions in companies, it is a taboo not to have a grip on one's emotions. Anyone who cries, whether man or woman, may have deeper, psychological problems in the eyes of the other. Her or him Has - as Iris Hauth puts it colloquially - something psychic. Men's mental health is a subject that has not been adequately researched. Statistically speaking, men account for around a third of depression illnesses in Germany. According to Iris Hauth, there is one reason for the missing numbers:

“First of all, men do not go to the doctor at all, and neither do they Prevention. When they see a doctor, they complain of physical symptoms more often. So, it's better the back or something else. "

Many men who are at risk of developing depression do not operate Prevention. You do not prevent it by consulting a doctor or psychotherapist in good time. And when they go to the doctor, they tell them that they have physical complaints, such as back pain. It's also often difficult to tell whether a man is depressed or not, says Iris Hauth:

"‘ Ne male depression fallsdifferentout as a woman's depression. It is more likely with women Dejection, Sadness, Listlessness, retreat. And in men, we know that male depression is common in Irritability, Aggression, anger can show up - to the extent that men often also experience their depression drink away.“

Depression shows up differently in women than in men. you turns out differently. Unfortunately, women tend to be quiet, "internalize": they are dejected, unpowered, so very sad and without energy, want to be alone, pull yourself back. Depressed men, on the other hand, “externalize” more often: They are irritated, feel easily attacked, react aggressively and angry. Some resort to alcohol and try - as Iris Hauth says - their depression pathtodrink. Regardless of whether you are a man or woman: In the case of severe mental disorders, only medication and targeted psychotherapy can help. However, according to Iris Hauth, there is still some catching up to do:

“There is still too little in psychotherapy gender-specificapproaches. With men it's more about showing feelings, being able to be weak, the highAbout me and the highideal a piece fromtostages. And there are very few such specific approaches in behavior therapy and also in the depth psychology well-founded psychotherapy also very little. "

Psychotherapeutic treatment should be gender specific take into account the gender of the patient. In the Depth psychology, i.e. the area in which unconscious mental processes take place, and in behavioral therapy this approach becomes this approach, according to Iris Hauth, too little consideration. Men should learn to be more open about their fears. Also, they should get their highs Ideals, lower your wishful thinking, graduate. These ideals are shaped by the so-called "About me“, A term coined by the psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud and which stands for values ​​and norms. But, according to Iris Hauth, those affected not only need help from psychotherapists:

“It's about the publicawareness and a targeted - I'll tell you - antistigma-Campaign, Apprehensioncampaign also in relation to men. Also to make it clear that men are also allowed to be mentally ill, may have an illness at the point, which are also proven illnesses and not a sign of weakness. "

According to Iris Hauth, there should be more information on the subject of "depression in men" in Germany. Society should for it sensitized develop a feeling for it. And men who have depression should be aware of the negative image that stigmato be set free to be weaklings. They must also be relieved of the fear that there must be one Apprehension occur. Because often - according to Iris Hauth - depression ends fatally, especially for men:

"Two-thirds of suicide attempts are made by women, but two-thirds of completed suicides are men."

Work order
Forms small working groups and prepares a slide show on the subject of "Depression in Men". Here is an example of the "German Depression Aid":