Why do some people hold a grudge

satisfaction: Ten reasons for dissatisfaction - and what you can do about it

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Actually, one could be quite satisfied. If it weren't for everyday worries. Trouble with the boss, for example, dissatisfaction at work and unnecessary arguments with your partner or children. Many people could actually be happy compared to the suffering that others in this world have to endure. Most Germans are healthy, have family and friends, an apartment, an adequate income and most of them can immediately name either a person or an ideal thing that makes sense to them. And why does the grass on the other side seem greener anyway?

It is a phenomenon that people are rarely satisfied with what they have for themselves. How to achieve this self-satisfaction is also concerned with positive psychology, which is now a recognized trend in psychology. Since the 1950s, psychologists have been concerned with positive emotions and psychological states instead of people's psychological suffering.

Since the nineties, positive psychology has experienced a real boom, not least due to the emergence of the coaching industry, which is also positive, and the trend in life counseling. In many respects, however, the diverse scientific studies that pursue this approach are interesting. And so there are ten main reasons why many people do not feel as satisfied and happy as they actually could.

Reason number 1: You have unrealistically high expectations - and you will be disappointed if everything does not go smoothly. The best example: a harmonious Christmas with the family. Only rarely does it happen because someone is always in a bad mood or it becomes somehow stressful.

Tina Grudge

Editor in the Politics, Economy and Society department, ZEIT ONLINE

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Reason number 2: There is no reason to think of yourself as something very special. There is nothing wrong with being very self-confident - but those who consider themselves extraordinary will usually be disappointed when others don't see it that way and treat the supposedly extraordinary as normal.

Reason number 3: You think the wrong values ​​are the only right ones. For example, those who only chase after money are usually disappointed when it turns out once in a lifetime that money is not everything.

Reason number 4: You get used to what you have achieved - and always want more. It certainly encourages you to always strive for something new and set yourself high goals - but if you lose sight of what has already been achieved, you lose proportionality. It is better to enjoy what you have achieved.