Why do I feel good with my crush

Snowless

on January 22nd, 2021 at 6:43 pm
Hey together
I recently lost another important person, I feel helplessly exposed to my constantly circling thoughts and often have the feeling of suffocating. I know it's normal; that part of it is to feel like the whole world is trying to make fun of you and it is not uncommon to think that this is all a bad joke. But if it were just these thoughts.
More than once this week I thought about the point of having Him die too, after all, we were still talking the night before. It was also not foreseeable that something like this - regardless of the motive or the cause (which is still unclear) - would happen.
To be alone with my thoughts would probably be my ruin, so I turn to you, hoping you have tips on how to silence the thoughts, or at least calm them down, because currently my head feels like it would a swarm of angry bees live in it and strike against it.
Is it normal to feel suffocated?

Julia

on January 24th, 2021 at 10:45 a.m.
Hello snowless,

Thank you for creating a new topic in our forum and letting us share your story. My name is Julia and I am one of the consultants here on YoungWings. I would like to give you a warm welcome and thank you for your message!

I will answer you today as part of my weekend service, as we do not hold any consultations on weekends or public holidays. A permanent contact person from the YoungWings team will get in touch with you at the beginning of the coming week. Until then you can of course exchange ideas with other users here.

First of all, I would like to give you a little insight into your options at YoungWings. We are currently writing in our forum where you can exchange ideas with other users. In addition, we offer one-on-one counseling, in which you can write alone in a protected setting with a permanent advisor. In addition, we offer a chat once a week, in which you can exchange ideas with other young people in real time. Here, too, the exchange is accompanied by one of our consultants. The chat dates will be announced here in the forum.

If you should have any questions about our offer during the weekend, please feel free to contact me, okay?

I wish you a good exchange and send you best regards,
Julia
Julia
Consultant
YoungWings

Susanne

on January 26th, 2021 at 8:16 am
Dear Snowless,

I would like to get in touch with one of your topics as your permanent contact person, I'm Susanne and one of the advisors at YoungWings. Welcome to the forum and thank you for creating a new topic and sharing with us how you are doing.

In your topic you report about your loss and how the thoughts about it take over you in the moment and seem to roll over you. I understand your lines to mean that the sudden death of him, the person who passed away, feels surreal and fake, like a bad joke. You report that he had to go too. I mean to understand you in such a way that you could possibly have lost another important person before he died. Can it be like that?

From the title of your topic "Thoughts and shortness of breath" and what you have written, it comes to me that the thoughts and your loss in the moment take hold of you in such a way that they take away the feeling of breathing. You have stated that you have the impression that it is important not to be alone with these thoughts. Correct?

You directly asked the question whether the feeling was normal and I think that you directed this question to the users here in order to be able to read about their experiences and also to get advice on what might be helpful. Is that correct?

I am here for you on this topic. Perhaps you have an idea how I, as a consultant, could support you particularly well on your topic?

I wish you a helpful exchange!

best regards
Susanne
Susanne
Advisor
YoungWings

nameless

on 02/21/2021 at 11:53 a.m.
Hello snowless,

It often helps me to draw. Sometimes I also try to draw my thoughts on. It doesn't have to be a recognizable motive (mostly it's not clear thoughts for me either), but it helps me get the thoughts out of my head.
Or I listen to music, preferably metal / rock, when the music screams, my thoughts scream less.
It also helps me to focus on my surroundings. For example, I look for five things that I hear, five that I see, five that I smell, five that I feel and five that I taste.

It doesn't always help me in the same way, but maybe there is something for you in it. It usually helps me best to do this before my thoughts are really loud. This is usually a good way of preventing things from getting worse, but even if the thoughts are already very loud, it can still help.

I know the feeling of suffocating very well. In the first time after my father died I had this very often. In my experience this gets less and less over time. I can't remember exactly whether and what helped me with this, but I think I drew a lot there too, or at least tried to.

Best regards,
nameless
If only I knew how to fly

Susanne

on February 24th, 2021 at 1:05 pm
Hello everybody,

In the meantime, some time has passed since you, dear Snowless, posted a post here in the forum. I would therefore like to ask if you would like to report back here how you fared?
Maybe you would like to look at my last message to you again and give me feedback.

At this point I would like to welcome you, nameless, to this topic and thank you for your contribution!
You have shared with Schneelos and the other users here in your lines what you have tried in moments and use to stop the circling and loud thoughts or to be able to keep them a little. Thank you for these insights and for sharing a bit about how you fared after losing your father.
Perhaps you, Snowless, would like to write something about whether there is something there that you can try for yourself?

I continue reading here and wish you a helpful exchange!

best regards
Susanne
Susanne
Advisor
YoungWings

Snowless

on February 24th, 2021 at 8:47 pm
I don't know if nameless will read this and yet I would like to thank you. I have already tried some of your points, but they are not for me. With the music .. In the meantime I would have to turn the music up so loud that I would be deafened by it, which is not sense and purpose.
The sign .. Well .. Has gotten out of hand and ultimately a bunch of black circles and blotches. Oh well..
I drew two pictures on canvases (besides the project of a soapstone) for a memorial board .., if you can call it that .. after all, I only printed out pictures from the web, cut them out so that I only have the silhouette and painted this black. I did that twice, once with younger and older people. That gave me a little peace of mind.

I'm sorry you lost too. Nobody deserves that.

I don't know, maybe you know that -
You sit in class and all of a sudden you are in a vortex of thoughts. It's incredibly difficult to pull yourself out of there. In most cases I don't even really succeed and then I sit there, no longer knowing what happened and keep slipping with my thoughts.
Do you / you know something that can be done there? I think ammonia sticks would not be such a good alternative because of the mask.

See you next time and all the best,

Snowless

nameless

on February 25th, 2021 at 6:44 pm
Hello snowless,

If that with pictures at least brought you some peace, that's a good start, I think. It doesn't matter that you printed something out for it.

It was almost three years since my father's death, I rarely have vortices, but I still know it well, even in class, as you described it. I haven't tried it myself, but maybe chilli candies, especially sour candies or spicy chewing gum etc. would help?

Are there certain situations in which the vortex of thought comes?
After learning to recognize triggers, I was able to deal with them much better and prevent vortices of thought. E.g. by drawing before it got really bad.

Another possibility would be, for example, to put yourself mentally in another, beautiful place. In my case, these are places where I feel good, but which have nothing to do with my father so that it doesn't trigger me. But I think everyone has to find out for themselves which places are suitable. This works best before the unpleasant thoughts are in full swing.

If I can think of anything else, I'll write it to you. I hope I could help you a bit.

Best wishes,
nameless
If only I knew how to fly

Susanne

on March 2nd, 2021 at 12:24 p.m.
Hello everybody,

I have seen that a first exchange has already taken place here and I am happy that you can share your experiences!

As I understand you, you know situations or moments in which the feeling for the here and now of thoughts - you have it as a vortex or thoughts are formulated out loud - is overrun. From the lines from you, Snowless, I learned that you seem to be having this experience in school lessons and that you are considering what could be supportive here so that the thoughts do not get loud or too loud. Thank you for being here in exchange about what things you have already tried or what possibilities there might be here.
So that other users, who may read along here, can classify which things you have already mentioned, I would like to explain that things, such as For example, smelling ammonia sticks or sucking sharp candy or chewing gum are methods that I know from a therapeutic context. These things can help to address certain stimuli, such as smelling, tasting or feeling, in order to support the head a bit in dealing with the thoughts in the here and now - such as B. the lessons to be able to stay.
Snowless and nameless, did I put it roughly the way you would classify these things?

Snowless, can you imagine trying out some of the things that nameless called? Maybe there is also something here that you know?

If it is suitable for you, Snowless, then I am happy to continue to contribute, just like in the exchange, if I have the impression that it could be suitable. If I'm supposed to just read along here, that's okay too, okay? Feel free to let me know what would feel helpful to you.

best regards
Susanne
Susanne
Advisor
YoungWings
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