What screams, I'm fun-loving

Slightly difficult

February 21, 2018 Creative

Time and again, our patients report about the challenges on their way back to a life without an eating disorder, about their fears and needs, but also about the hope, strength and courage that enable them to take the next step. The author of our blog post today put her thoughts in poetry.

Slightly difficult

Front, back, up, down. What should I think and what should I feel?
My head is heavy, so heavy.
A tear is rolling down my cheek, I don't feel it.
I wonder what's going on, isn't it too much for me?

Living here and there, you can't escape, you have to keep going.
Run away, run away, but where to?
It keeps catching up with me.

Surrounded by people and yet alone, I feel lonely here.
They touch me, hug me, I don't feel it.
I am somewhere else. Far, far away, do I ever come back?

It is the will that holds me, the lust for life that screams in me.
Now I am here, I can go further.
One step back and two forward.

The darkness gives way to the light
I grab them and throw them away into the vast ocean.

And is a day difficult
so follows a lighter one that shows me
how worth living my life is.

Image credit: ClipDealer

about the author

Lisa, 22 years old, former patient of the TCE (when the poem was written in the intensive phase)