May husbands have stronger wives
How relationship-disturbed men make strong women weak
Two blue check marks. He's online. A stab in the heart.
The cheeks glow. As if spellbound, I stare at this small screen in my trembling hands. Zack. last online today at 18:54.
"How damn serious? If he has several minutes to be online, can he at least answer me briefly, or am I wrong? ”I think. The next morning and countless glances at the smartphone later, the supposedly relieving ringing sounds. In a nutshell: No time tomorrow ... Blah ... Although actually already arranged to meet ... That was about five years ago.
I, too, have been one of those strong and independent women who, although they have a university degree and the installation of a new kitchen tap, are emotionally dependent on completely unreliable responsibility phobics and their blue WhatsApp ticks. You might think that I would have bet on students in their twenties who don't even have the conscientiousness necessary to keep a cactus alive. But no. I had appointments with a young Swedish politician, a 30-year-old HR manager, a son of a board member, lawyers, extraordinarily talented artists and a Dutch finance manager.
None of these men were in any way "serious". If it had been bed stories, I would have had a glimmer of understanding for her closeness phobia. But I had some very nice first dates. Dates that actually left no doubt that I would have had a chance with these men. But in many cases this chance doesn't even exist. Especially in Berlin, where I've been living for nine years, the desire for relationships and love in male minds is an absolute no-go area. They defend themselves with hands and feet against the butterflies in their stomach. In many a pair of eyes I have already seen the flash of sheer panic when it came to meeting for a third date. It goes without saying that everyone pays for their own coffee. Just like the hair-raising unreliability when it comes to replying to messages.
However, the said HR manager shot the biggest bird five years ago. After two months and several meetings, he told me that he had quit his job and that he was already in Buenos Aires. Oh and by the way: it's over. He's been two-pronged and at some point you just notice who is important to you and who's not me. P.S .: He's missing gummy bears in Argentina. Very sensitive, thank you very much.
After this absolute mistake, I was at a point where I just didn't want to sacrifice any more nerves for these wretched and commitment-shy weak mates. It was all a wasted labor of love.
But it came as it had to come. Sometimes you are only ready for a very special person when you have left a lot of not so special people behind you. But that's another story I'll tell you soon.
We know Franziska Runge from the third season of Curvy Supermodel. She is passionate about writing
on her blog www.rosaliesdornen.de and loves life with all its challenges.
You can also follow her on Instagram @franziska.cosima!
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