Why is it worth waiting for marriage

No sex before marriage: young woman admits why she waited

I have no problem being different

Of course there were times when it wasn't easy to stay on the course we had chosen. I don't know when exactly it started - probably when the first classmates had a boyfriend and took the pill. And talked about sex quite importantly. Important but not in the sense of "it's something big for me, for us". As if they wanted to brag and show how great they were - more like that seemed to me when they reported.

The fact that I always held back when the conversations came up has, thank God, never made me a marginal figure. Admittedly: I am someone who has no problem with being different - on the contrary. When I talk to friends about that time today, they confirm to me: "You were never unsure, you exuded that certain conviction". No, my youth with all its freedoms and joys has by no means passed me by.

Then later, in my early twenties, it happened more and more often that I was looked at in disbelief: "I beg your pardon? You have never had sex?" I got to hear someone like me, who would have had enough opportunities, and asked why I hadn't used it.

Sex has become a hobby for many

It seemed increasingly strange to me how people carried their sexual experiences before them like trophies. "I believe in great love," I said. Sometimes I used a comparison to make things clearer: "When I go to the store, after all, I don't use the tester that is in the front of the shelf and that some people already had in their hands. I deliberately reach back. Take the original packaging . That's exactly how I want my husband one day, "I said. And that I want to be for him as well.

I also find the purchase example so appropriate because it says a lot about our society. Self-optimization is an important topic. Everyone always wants the biggest, the best, wants to overtake the other. Of course, to a certain extent this urge is part of human nature; but that's no excuse to let it flow. In love in particular, striving for the maximum becomes a problem for many, I think. An enormous pressure builds up. Constant comparison with others makes you dissatisfied, leaves you restless and often disappointed.

Sometimes it seems to me that sex has become a hobby for many. Trying out techniques and constantly weighing up: "Where am I? How good am I already?" When we talk about gaining experience, we don't realize what the consequences are. We live according to the pleasure principle. That doesn't sound bad at first. What is supposed to be bad about lust after all? But anyone who thinks ahead will agree with me when I ask: How should someone who has lived this way for many years later be a faithful husband or wife?

I knew deep down: the wait will be worth it

Granted, it was hard to hold your head at times. There were guys who flirted with me and there were guys I started to really like. With a type of good-looking macho with changing partners, there were fundamental discussions. He wanted to convince me of his lifestyle, to make me believe what I was missing out on. I explained to him the other way around, what I believed, what he was missing and what would one day be missing more and more. "You are a seeker and that search will make you increasingly restless," I said. Not without deeply doubting every now and then: What if he was right and I really missed something?

It was also my ambition that helped me pull this thing off, I guess. Let's take music, another area in which I have consistently pursued my goals. Between 15 and 25 I played drums in bands professionally. As a drummer, I was just respected by men - up to and including almost shyly looking up at me. You could say that this fact also ensured that flirt partners kept their distance. Ultimately, however, the most important reason for my perseverance was that I knew deep down: the wait will be worth it.

At the first meeting I knew straight away: It is him!

And so it was. When I was 25, I met David in an online Christian forum. I quickly realized that he was the famous needle in the haystack. It was just incredibly nice to meet someone with the same values ​​as mine.

I know that this is the absolute rarity of getting to know each other so slowly today. Not "to check out", as it is sometimes called, but to really strive to recognize the inside of the other person, his essence. In a way, getting in touch online was very helpful. For two weeks David and I just wrote to each other. I didn't know his voice and apart from this one photo I had no idea how he was performing. At the first meeting, however, I knew straight away: It is him! External attractiveness is only one thing, I mean. We stood face to face and knew that we were meant for one another, by God.

You don't always have to have everything right away

The fact that we didn't sleep together nine months later until our wedding took a lot of self-discipline. For that, when the time came, we were best rewarded. Neither of us had any uncertainties or complexes because the other was possibly more experienced and therefore "better". It wasn't presenting or showing off, no showing in the sense of a "look what I can offer you" was and is our sex. Rather a common approach and trying things out. And that with great mutual respect and full of honest closeness.

It became more and more with each time, became something that we could grow together on the basis of our "untouchedness". I am convinced: The experience is much stronger, more intense than what others probably mean when they speak of "fun". Our marriage is God's perfect plan - that's how I see it. And I see how doing without has made me strong for other areas of life. For the job, for example. You don't always have to have everything immediately, as our society so often wants us to believe. I think waiting is good training for character and personality development.

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