Do couples have sex with other couples

Most love relationships change dramatically over the years - especially when it comes to sex. If, however, there is currently a lull in bed, you don't have to worry: because every relationship goes through 4 sex phases, in which it goes up and down.

Anyone who has been with their partner for a long time, perhaps even married, knows it: Somehow a relationship never stays as it started.

It is constantly changing, evolving and goes through highs and lulls - especially when it comes to sex.

And that's perfectly normal. Couples therapists are sure: In fact, almost any long-term relationship can be rough four phases to be grouped.

So if you intend to be with your favorite person until the end of your life, you will most likely go through the following four sex and relationship phases sooner or later.

1. The infatuation phase

"First there is the phase of falling in love between two people," says systemic couples therapist Manuela Komorek. "Most couples will certainly have sex more often than later in the relationship and bring a certain openness towards sexuality with them."

This phase could probably just as easily be described with the well-known "rose-colored glasses". According to a study by the online dating provider "Parship" from 2013, one in five out of 1000 respondents has sex with their partner every day - if they have been in a relationship for two years or less.

However, sexual activity decreases afterwards.

"At first everything is going great, many couples see only advantages in each other and sex should be accordingly good", explains Christiane Salamon, couple and sex therapist in Remscheid. This phase usually lasts one to one and a half years.

After that, it may be that something changes in your relationship - and especially in your bedroom.

2. The habituation phase

"With many couples there is a phase that I would call the 'habituation phase' - it usually begins when the couple spends an everyday life together. Then they often slip into everyday sex," explains Komorek.

Each of the two partners then knows what to expect in bed with the other person - and that can get boring.

"Once you've tried everything once, it becomes routine and you usually make less effort," says Salamon.

"When it comes to sex, the partners agree on the lowest common denominator," adds Komorek. "Then there is often a lack of pleasure and sex becomes less."

Of course, not every relationship is created equal. Each couple is very individual in their development - and depending on this, this second phase can also be completely different. However, Komorek is certain: "Even if you don't call it that: In every longerRelationship there is a phase in which sexuality falls asleep."

That is not a problem at all, as long as both partners are satisfied with this development. For everyone else there is a ray of hope: Once you get used to it, the bedroom can get hotter than ever.

3. The rediscovery phase

For this to work, however, couples need discipline and patience - especially when everyday life has them under control.

"It is important to take time for each other and, if necessary, to include time together in the weekly planning: One or more hours in which you either have sex or just talk about sex together, explain your wishes or just lie there and touch each other without words, "advises Komorek.

Each couple has to find out individually what works best.

"Once the habituation phase is over, relationships often get hotter again. Then you can try new things together and rediscover sexuality ", so the expert.

4. The final phase

You will likely only experience this fourth and final phase if you plan to grow old with your partner. Because in the common aging process, a lot changes in sex life as well.

Suddenly a couple sees each other confronted with a completely different challenge than just the lack of pleasure - namely with time.

"A woman may slowly enter the menopause, a man may no longer deliver the performance that he would like to deliver," says Komorek. "Even then it is important not to let pressure arise and to take time for one's sexuality."

After all, it can too still function well with sex in old age. For example, 30 percent of people over 80 who are in a relationship still have regular sex, says Salamon.

A sign that with Trust and communication a relationship can remain exciting for a very long time.