Why are mother-son relationships particularly strong

Mother son relationship

Text: A. W. (family counselor) / Last update: February 25, 2021

In this article, a family counselor explains how the mother-son relationship becomes harmonious and how it can be strengthened.

Mother and son relationship: why it is so important and what strengthens it

Mothers play important roles in their children's lives. Not only do they give birth to them, but months and years later they bear great responsibility for the well-being of their sons and daughters. In addition to physical care, promoting social and emotional development is also important. Of course, it is often not the mother who is solely responsible here. The relationship between mothers and sons, however, deserves special attention.

Mother and son: a bond for life

Mothers who give birth to a boy have exciting and exciting years ahead of them. You will not always know what is going on in your son and often you will have to deal with the mindset and behavior of men and boys. This offers the chance to learn new things and to adapt to the needs of the child openly and sensitively. From babies to adolescents, this remains an essential part of the mother-son relationship.

Psychologists and scientists also know very well that the quality of the bond between mother and son can affect the entire life of the future husband. Studies have shown time and again that the way the mother treats her son influences how he will act later on at work, in relationships and also on the subject of self-care and independence. (How to teach children independence)

Under no circumstances should mothers withdraw and think that fathers or male contacts are more important when raising boys. Of course, influences of both sexes play a role, because this makes it possible to support a personality from several perspectives in its development. But doing without one facet is more detrimental to a holistic one development.

Too narrow or too distant? Both of these cause problems

There are two problem constellations in mother and son relationships that should be avoided if possible. On the one hand, this involves very close relationships and, on the other hand, strongly distanced interaction.

Mothers who bind their sons very closely and cannot let go of them prevent the development of independence, Self-confidence and self-motivation. Often in later life there are difficulties in making decisions, excessive expectations of relationship partners or unwillingness to break away from the parental household. (Also read:My husband is a mother’s boy) Sons need to gain experience, open their knees, and survive conflicts. Mothers should serve as support here and ensure safety and protection in an emergency, but not fight out their children's fights.

Very distant relationships between mother and son, on the other hand, can lead to other problems. In such constellations, mothers are often inhibited in dealing with their sons, because they fear a "softening" or an "Oedipus complex". The relationship then often lacks warmth and empathy, which can later show in the form of inability to relate, strong self-doubt or excessive ambition.

Common problems between mother and son

The healthy mother son relationship

Both closeness and distance can damage the mother-son relationship. In this context, however, closeness and closeness should not be confused. Proximity is essential for healthy and good child development, because boys too must be aware of the fact that they can confide in their mother and relax with her. Reading aloud and cuddling should by no means be reserved for girls only, because boys also need warmth and affection.

As a result, mothers need not be afraid of harming their sons with too much empathy or emotion. Fortunately, the times when little boys were taught that they had to become "tough men" are over. Talking to your son about feelings and thus opening up the world of women - how they think and feel - also improves understanding of the opposite sex. This in turn helps young men to base their own relationships on respect and appreciation, but not within the framework of stale ideas of power.

In the pubertyWhen a boy gradually develops into a man, mothers should deal with both girls and boys with the Let go deal. In this phase of life, male contacts are also important for the adolescent boys, for example to discuss more intimate things that mum may not be supposed to hear. There is one for that good father son relationship important.

If you have succeeded in building a trusting relationship without coercion or pressure, in which your own son can develop freely and yet lean on again and again, mothers and sons will stay close for a lifetime.

So mother and son can spend time together

Mothers and sons can also strengthen their relationship with a bike tour together or a visit to the children's theater.

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