How do you look confident

Confidence on the job: this is how you boost your self-confidence

You're on your way to work with bad thoughts again. Can I do it all today? The upcoming meeting is heavy in your stomach because you have concerns about expressing your ideas and do not want to meet with rejection from your colleagues. There are quite a few people who feel this way. Therefore, many people want a stronger self-confidence, a more confident demeanor and an emancipated opinion that they can represent without hesitation. Longing for an appropriate level of self-confidence, you admire in others the calm handling of conflicts, the inner calm that these people exude and the sovereignty with which they appear. However, the lack of self-confidence is not regenerated overnight. In order to strengthen your self-confidence and your self-acceptance, you have to deal with yourself more intensively.

Where does confidence come from and how can I train it?

First of all, it is important to understand how self-confidence and self-confidence arise. Literally, self-confidence means just that: being self-aware. The philosophical aspect of the word is included: the awareness of oneself as a thinking being. The second definition given by the Duden is:

[Self-confidence is] the conviction of one's abilities, of one's worth as a person, which is particularly expressed in self-assured demeanor.

In addition, terms such as self-esteem, self-confidence, self-confidence and self-acceptance go hand in hand with self-confidence. To a certain extent, all of these properties are interrelated and mutually dependent. The basic structure for developing the much sought-after self-confidence are three questions:

  1. Who am I?
  2. What can I?
  3. What am i worth

In order to be able to answer these questions, you have to make use of your own awareness. Self-reflective, you should be clear about what you can do. In the subsequent second step, you then begin to evaluate your skills and recognize your talents. What are you proud of, what are you good at?

People who already have a well-developed sense of self-worth have usually been told early on in their childhood by those close to them that they are a valuable, loved one and that they are accepted. With this early appreciation, usually by the parents, a foundation is laid for a healthy self-confidence.

External image vs. self-image: how do you see yourself?

Not only your parents, but also other people you meet in the course of your life, shape the image you have of yourself with their evaluations. Teachers, friends, partners, colleagues and bosses give you different ways of understanding how they see you, what they appreciate about you and what is more negative about you. Your self-image is immensely influenced by this external image, which is created by external social influences. Where does the external image end and where does the self-image begin?

This limit cannot be clearly defined. This is precisely why it is incredibly important that you take the time to think about your self-image: How do you really see yourself and what are the characteristics that have been assigned to you from the outside? These questions are then the first step towards more self-confidence. Trust your own perception of yourself. Then it is important that you learn to accept yourself. If you manage to increase your self-acceptance, you are well on the way to becoming a confident, but above all - more importantly - a satisfied person.

What distinguishes a self-confident person?

A self-confident person captivates with a self-assured charisma. This characteristic is particularly evident through body language. Nervous gestures are rare, but direct eye contact and an open attitude are the order of the day. Because a self-confident person is open to others, they usually get a positive response. In addition, a confident person believes in their own competencies. The person is aware of their own abilities and is proud of these strengths without becoming arrogant. With the conviction that they will achieve the goals they have set themselves, a self-confident person strengthens their belief in success.

Someone who is confident knows how to stand up for themselves. He is able to represent and protect his own opinion or his own interests in front of others. Without fear of rejection, the person can openly express their opinion. In addition, it is easy for self-confident people to approach other people. Confident people can make new contacts without great problems.

Where does a lack of self-confidence come from?

If you couldn't recognize yourself in the description of a self-confident person, you probably have a more negative image of yourself. But how does a low self-esteem arise? There are essentially two factors that lead to a negative self-image. On the one hand, everyone knows the fear of being rejected and, on the other hand, the fear of failure. To some extent, these fears are perfectly natural. However, people with low self-confidence are dominated by these negative fears and the illusion of what could go wrong.

If you are plagued by constant doubts, you don't believe in your abilities and you don't trust yourself enough. This creates an inner insecurity, through which challenges are then perceived as a threat. In addition, people with low self-esteem are often reactive. That means sentences like "I have to", "I have no time." and "I can not do this." Stand in the way of self-confidence. When you have these thoughts, try to transform them and change your attitude. Transform these sentences into proactive formulations "I will.", "I take my time for it." or "I'll ask someone to show me how it works." This makes you aware that you are acting in a self-determined manner and you can give space to a more positive mood.

Overcoming feelings of inferiority andimprove self-confidence

If you want to strengthen your self-esteem, first get to the bottom of the causes: Why is your self-esteem so low at all? Are you afraid of making mistakes? Don't you dare to express your opinion? Are you afraid of criticism? Take your time and try to understand and analyze your current situation with regard to your job. Then you should deal with yourself. What are your strengths, what are your weaknesses? What do you like about yourself and what do I want from myself for the future? In doing so, you could decide to give your opinion, express your wishes and needs, or try something new. Above all, you should learn to accept praise and recognition, but also to reject demands.

Since the human brain is trained to weight negative situations and problems higher than positive ones, it is up to you to evaluate your strengths more intensely than your weaknesses. Through evolution, humans have learned to focus on survival and watch out for threats. But since our lives are no longer exposed to the dangers of that time, thoughts pounce on all the negatives and problems that we have. You will also notice this in the fact that negative events are much more memorable than a beautiful everyday moment. You have to trick your head and try to appreciate the positive and above all your skills more. So focus on your strengths!

In this way you will achieve greater self-confidence in your job

If you have wondered about where your lack of self-esteem is coming from, you are on the ideal path. In addition, you can take the following to heart in the future:

  1. Making mistakes is perfectly fine. Don't get caught up in the fact that something went wrong, because that's just feeding your self-doubt and focusing on the negative. Change your attitude towards mistakes and try to see them as an opportunity for further development.
  2. Accept compliments. Instead of worrying about whether compliments are meant seriously, just be happy about them! If you're someone who questions compliments, get rid of them as soon as possible.
  3. Laugh at yourself. You don't always have to take yourself too seriously. Each of us is fallible. If you take your own slip of the tongue in a meeting with humor, so will the others. Take advantage of the de-escalating effects of humor.
  4. Don't take criticism personally. You are being held against your mistakes, but not to make you feel bad. Because constructive criticism should help you to improve the quality of your work even further.
  5. Say what you wish forIf something is bothering you, don't leave that emotion in an inner conflict. Show your interests, this is the only way you can bring about a change.
  6. Say goodbye to nervousness.Pay attention to your posture in the future. Try to avoid nervous gestures and appear as relaxed as possible. It is easier to live with calm and serenity. In particular, you appear more self-confident with a relaxed charisma.
  7. Practice gratitude.What are you grateful for Make yourself aware of whom you can trust and for which people in your environment you are grateful. Social relationships strengthen you and give you greater self-confidence.

Self-confidence, self-esteem and self-confidence are a matter of attitude

Self-confidence can be learned. Numerous coaches will confirm this to you. So if you want a confident demeanor and self-assured interaction with colleagues, you can train that. Of course, such a development cannot be implemented overnight, but begins with a change in your attitude and your habits. On average, we need around 66 days for new habits to be automated for us. So if you hold out for that long and sit up straight for 66 days, try to meet your colleagues openly or do sports three times a week, it will eventually become normal. Create the foundation in which you accept yourself and practice being open.

Maja has been supporting the editorial team at since 2017. She primarily devotes herself to the career magazine with topics related to jobs and careers, but also writes about digital marketing.