Is it okay to do crossdressing?

Crossdressers



Falcon - Shelina 12

The term crossdresser can often be read. But what is it actually, what is behind it?

In general, crossdressing can be understood as the desire or need to wear clothes of the opposite sex. Many crossdressers usually practice this unconscious need out of drive, because it is good for them mentally and physically. That means a man doesn't put on a skirt because he wants to annoy someone with it, but because he likes it, because it is good for him - for this reason I keep mentioning the term Feel-good clothing.

Just as there are men who like to wear women's clothes, there are just as many women who wear men's clothes. Women are clearly in the majority, only nobody notices it or nobody is bothered by it. That means the number of female crossdressers is likely to be much higher by far. Only no woman will call herself that, but sees it as completely normal. That is the big difference.


The male crossdresser


On the other hand, I investigated the question of what actually is fetishism?
Because first and foremost, outsiders think about a man who likes to wear tights or skirts, that he is gay, he is a fetishist and / or a transvestite, without even knowing what it is. Few people go to the trouble of broadening their own, mostly mentally limited, horizons and thinking about why these men are doing this. It is also easier to agree with the general opinion than to form your own opinion.

In the following chapters I will therefore go into more detail on the definition Crossdressers a.


A study on crossdressing


In order to see these terms, which usually have a negative image, a little more differentiated, and to show that this topic is much more complicated, there was a very interesting project at a southern German university. She devoted herself to this topic and interviewed several affected people, such as myself. As a result of this study, I can finally determine for myself what I am: I am clearly a crossdresser.

From the point of view of an innocent person, one could say: 'All well and good, but what is a crossdresser?'

This study was able to classify three types of crossdressing. These classifications are:


  • Crossdressers with no female identity
  • Crossdressers with a female identity
  • Crossdressers who practice the complete transition to women

Another important finding is that there is no such thing as THE typical crossdresser. Everyone has had a different environment, a different past, and maybe different triggers. It is the same with all crossdressers that the mental aspect is particularly important.

No crossdresser developed on a whim by saying at some point, e.g. to the carnival: 'Today I go as a woman' and stuck to it. Rather, cross-dressing has something to do with relaxing, feeling good, escaping a bit from one's environment and simply enjoying being a woman (or man) at least temporarily.

The only stupid thing here is that this great feeling disappears at some point and everyday life catches up with you again. What is much worse for the people concerned, however, is that they are confronted with various problems in their environment and therefore mostly forego going out in public out of fear, even if it is their greatest wish.

The type 1 crossdresser tries as much as possible to incorporate his female clothing into everyday life, regardless of what his environment might say. Particularly feminine clothing, such as skirts, is avoided, at least in public. This is where I classify myself.

Type 2 is different, however. He dresses completely as a woman, puts on make-up, wears a wig and enjoys appearing in public as a woman. He lives out his female identity and, if possible, presents himself as a woman as well as possible. This means that he not only adapts his appearance, but often also his gestures, etc. But he also always returns to his normal Everyday life back.

The third type, on the other hand, has already passed this stage and actually only lives as a woman. Its completion is only a matter of form, but it is missing for perfect happiness.

In the case of female identity, the use of female first names is intended, i.e. not primarily whether someone feels internally feminine.

So much for the content of this study.


Personally, I would add another type: the crossdresser who wears skirts, etc., but still wants to be recognized as a man. He wears women's clothing mainly because it is more comfortable and practical. A man with a skirt and a beard is a good example of this. However, it is Conchita Wurst not meant by that.

A visitor (see comments) also suggested a type. The disguise out of lust and for one's own satisfaction. (see definition: fetishism).

Strictly speaking, you could then also add a type: the typical transvestite who acts out an exaggerated style. But it is often just a parody and has three with the first three normal Shapes absolutely nothing in common.

However, the transitions between the individual variants are fluid and cannot be clearly defined. They depend on moods and external influences.


The female crossdresser


In analogy to the previous section, one can certainly state that there are exactly the same classifications, motives and psychological conditions in women. Of course, there are also women who have a male identity and live it out.

The fourth type is likely to be very widespread, but of course no woman will allow herself to be called a crossdresser just because she is only wearing a shirt or trousers from the men's department. In the fashion world this is simply called the "boyfriend look" and everyone is happy. The inexperienced general public would say: Crossdressers are only men.

You could also put it more drastically: women are nice, they don't do that, men, on the other hand, do ...


The mental aspect



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I have already described it many times that the practical advantage of fine tights and skirts is clearly given. In many cases, women's clothing simply fits better, is softer and more comfortable to wear, and sometimes simply has no alternative. For me these are reasons enough to wear women's clothes.

But for me, women's clothing is also feel-good clothing. You cannot explain this feeling - it cannot really be put into words and therefore difficult to convey to another person. Other crossdressers know exactly what I'm talking about, they know it too. Above all, they appreciate the softer materials and more comfortable wearing properties. Women may be able to understand it to some extent, because they experience their clothes every day, albeit unconsciously. Unaffected men can certainly not imagine such feelings.

Most crossdressers have developed a more or less pronounced personality of the opposite sex. Often this second identity is or has been suppressed by medical or social circumstances and forced into a clear, male or female identity. Living out two identities was and is thus prevented, knowing full well that they exist.

Some charlatans even believe that one right one Education can prevent or cure this. A girl has to play with her dolls and not with cars - and vice versa. But then what is the new German nonsense about "getting girls excited about technical professions"? Either they have this predisposition or they don't. Whereby that's a completely different topic.

If one of the two personalities is permanently suppressed, this is harmful in the long run. This person will never be able to experience a real emotional balance, an inner satisfaction, unless they may and can at least partially develop accordingly. And who for God's sake is society that it presumes as a general public to withhold its inner balance and happiness from these people?

It doesn't matter whether this second personality, this feeling of basically (or mainly) being part of the opposite sex, exists from birth or was triggered by some reason (trigger, initial ignition). The fact is that a balanced emotional life, a balanced personality is only possible if both emotional worlds are served.


It is important to me to emphasize that crossdressing is not a sexual preference. It also has nothing to do with any sexual orientation. Speculations about this are pure nonsense and only testify to ignorance and intolerance.


Often there are only minor details


It may be a bit unusual, but it can be very helpful and important for your own inner balance to wear, for example, fine tights and / or pumps in a certain situation and emotional state. Often this is enough.

It can also be sufficient, for example, to only paint the nails in order to use a typically feminine attribute. Just looking at your own painted nails can make you feel happy. Likewise, for example, the combination of stockings and pumps that is visible to everyone can trigger such feelings.

The more this feeling should or must be served, the more important it becomes that a skirt, blouse, etc. is also used. As a further increase, you have to make up perfectly, wear a wig and thus transform yourself into a woman, at least externally. This feeling can be lived out and enjoyed (even in public) for at least a few hours.

The potential for recreation from everyday life that crossdressers are allowed to experience is usually very intense. To reduce stress, women's clothing is indispensable for male crossdressers and therefore an ideal outlet.

Normal People who do not know such needs are certainly missing out. You need to find other valves for everyday stress. For example, you practice yoga to relax or run for miles around, but probably nobody smiles at that.

Since women's clothing as an outlet for stress relief is mostly limited to leisure time or, for example, the weekend, a lot accumulates. Stress of any kind is unhealthy and makes you unhappy and sick in the long run. That's why I think the small but permanent things are very important.


Feelings


Feelings play a very important role. Women are usually more likely to be allowed to show emotions. A man has to be strong no matter how shitty he feels. The macho guy beats his wife, smokes, drinks and suppresses his environment just so that he can regain his balance (my prejudice). The car guy gets into his fat BMW or Audi, chases and endangers everything that doesn't get off the road fast enough. The crossdresser, on the other hand, only puts on women's clothing and does not harm anyone. What is better?

Due to his feminine identity, the crossdresser is also partially able to take on some typically feminine attributes and to integrate them into his personality. Showing feelings is not alien to him, even if it doesn't always succeed. Going shopping just to try on a pair of new shoes, etc., almost unthinkable for a "normal" man.

Women who live with crossdressers will often think "what about my feelings?", But they all too quickly forget that without the disguise, without wearing women's clothes, there would be no longer living together. Because no matter how loving and tender a woman may be, this balance is difficult or impossible for her to achieve. Especially if she isn't exactly the feminine type herself. But she should take advantage of it for herself: because such a woman, who also supports her husband in his emotional life, in his comfortable clothes, will never give up, because she is the fulfillment of his life.

If, on the other hand, she tries to keep him from his inclination, it will not go well in the long run. It may work for a few years, but at some point the emotional frustration just got too big and then it just doesn't work anymore. He will at least live out his inclination when she is not at home. It remains to be seen whether this is worth striving for.

A separation from women's clothing (at least for a certain period of time) will also only succeed in the rarest of cases. The mental pressure inevitably builds up and becomes too great at some point. Relapse is inevitable.


In a spiral



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Problematic can It can be for a crossdresser if he can live out this 'addiction' more intensely over a longer period of time, e.g. during a vacation or another long break. For example, when he can dress as a woman as soon as he gets up and enjoy this feeling all day long. This intense experience of the opposite sex over a longer period of time, even if it only happens through their clothing, is simply indescribable. And of course you want to experience this feeling again the next day, etc.

But this exhilaration is deceptive. All too quickly you forget that it is unfortunately not the 'real' world that everyday life will come back at some point. And then it is there, this big hole, everyday life, in which you have to 'stand your ground' again. Withdrawal symptoms, depression, etc. are not uncommon after this. Here it is important to have a partner who can somehow cushion this fall.

Another, far better method is therefore not to let this hole appear so deep in the first place. It is therefore sensible and advisable to wear suitable clothing in the normal clothing style to integrate. I.e. a Ladies- Of course, pants cannot replace a skirt, but at least it is possible to use at least part of the normal everyday clothing to replace without it being noticed. It's not a real substitute, but it is a viable option.

And when you have managed to reach your personal level of integrated women's clothing, to keep it and to stand by it, then the holes described above can no longer harm you. You have found your inner balance.

In this mentally balanced state one is happy. You don't mind if you stare at the pumps in disbelief. Fine stockings, pumps and women's trousers belong to me - that's me, that's me. Everyone should find this state for themselves.


From a psychological point of view


I am not a psychologist myself. But it can be interesting to hear the opinion of a good, empathetic psychologist. It's just stupid if this person advocates prepackaged, outdated theories instead of addressing the person in question.

A session with a psychologist who was advised because of my inclination was all the more interesting during my rehab. The result was disappointing for the messed up station nurse, but positive for me and confirmed my attitude.


Conclusion 1


As I said before, the feeling, the desire, the longing that causes a male crossdresser to wear women's clothes cannot really be described in real terms. There are many approaches, but none can really express what motivates me personally and other men to put on fine tights, for example, and above all, what positive effects this has on the psyche.

Perhaps it's similar to homeopathy - normally it can't work, but in some cases it seems to work. - And - no matter how much of it you take, or no matter how many tights you put on, it doesn't harm anyone.


Conclusion 2


There is no such thing as a crossdresser. Different orientations in clothing, different intensities of how this "addiction" is lived out, different psyche of individual people and different longings result in different types or, as already described above, different typifications.

Nor is it said that a crossdresser must have feelings of opposite sex internally. There are men who like to be and want to stay a man, but who are still passionate about wearing fine tights and skirts (without sexual reference). So this is not mutually exclusive.

Attempts by psychologists to explain the phenomenon of cross-dressing and its background usually go in the wrong direction. Quite simply because there is a lack of experience and the "shades" are too diverse. Attempts to attribute a particular sexual orientation to crossdressers also fail.Probably not a single man suddenly likes men just because he wears skirts. Its basic orientation and inclination does not change with clothing. An affected man may have always felt like a woman, but still only likes women.

Trying to describe these feelings that one can experience as a man in women's clothing is therefore only scratching the surface. It depends very much on how much femininity lies dormant in your own body and how much of it you can or want to access.

Many men are likely to have little femininity in them. They have no intrinsic drive to want to wear skirts and would be reluctant to "have to" wear them. Other men, on the other hand, have so much of it in them that they have depression because they are trapped in the wrong body (see above: Type 3) or because the wrong gender has been forced upon them.

For the middle, as I feel myself, for example, it is a very good outlet to wear a skirt, etc. from time to time. This feeling relaxes the soul, you become calmer and more relaxed. The stress reduction that can be achieved with this is quite comparable to a long-distance vacation that other people would have to take for it. And that's why women's clothing is pure feel-good clothing for me personally.

And once again for the sake of completeness: Exactly the same applies, of course, to women (just with a tendency towards masculinity).


Further definitions


The term crossdresser is relatively new and rather imprecisely describes the individual shades of wearing opposite-sex clothing. Therefore the attempt now follows to at least partially explain further terms on the next page.


Reactions


How right I am with my theses was also shown to me by a very charming visitor who asked me for advice. On another page comes your experience report.



 


Comments


Write a comment on this report.


 


  • Great, finally a report that describes how I feel. Thanks! - Ralf
  • Thanks! Many Thanks. - Neele
  • As a male crossdresser, I actually believe that there should be five categories for the crossdresser division. To the three already listed, I would add two more, namely, male crossdressers who sexually satisfy themselves by wearing female clothing. And then there are male crossdressers who, together with their partner, are both looking for sexual fulfillment in women's clothing. - Kind regards. CD man
    - No, because that would fall into the fetishist category. Klaus
  • I read the report and thought: This is me! Great website. You feel at home here. - LG Mario
  • Hello, I think these posts are very good. They speak to me from the soul. I can only agree. I would like to put on a skirt and go out, but unfortunately, man (s), is looked at crookedly and worse. - Kind regards, P. Sigrist
  • Hello, I would like to start by thanking you from the bottom of my heart for this very insightful report. He made me feel good about finally exchanging ideas with someone. Even if I'm only the partner in life, crossdressing is now also a part of my life. It's all very new to me and the need to talk, ask questions and get answers is immense. Please do not get it wrong, I am pleased that he has discovered this outlet for himself and nevertheless important questions remain unanswered if, as is the case with us, we do not talk about what, unfortunately, is his wish, which I respect. Thank you again for sharing your experiences with us and also for helping relatives very much. - Greetings, Alex

Page edited on November 1st, 2020.