What is it like to be raped

Raped: 19-year-old describes her suffering

WDR: Were there days, moments when you blamed yourself?

Anna: "To this day, I still blame myself for being my own fault. Though I know it isn't. I always had the image in my head: Rape is - you defend yourself, you scream, you have injuries to your body. I didn't scream, didn't fight back, nor had any visible injuries on my body. But the injuries were inside me. I suffer from what I have experienced every day. Today I know that sexual violence has many faces. It was a rape."

WDR: How are you today?

Anna: "My life has changed completely since that day. I trust fewer and fewer people. I feel uncomfortable, actually with every touch. Unexpected touch is really bad. I have difficulty taking a shower, going to the toilet, because I keep having these pictorial images in my head. To this day I avoid going into town because he lived nearby."

WDR: Did you tell anyone about the attack?

Anna: "I told my closest friends about it, my best friend. However, they still don't know everything to this day. The reactions were different. There were sentences like 'I'm there for you' to 'It's your own fault that you went there, that you made contact.'"

WDR: What does it do to you when you hear such sentences?

Anna: "It's like a breach of trust. It feels like. I am currently trusting something intimate in my life and you are telling me that it is my own fault? You automatically feel condemned."

WDR: You didn't get help until months later. Why did you wait so long

Anna: "I was afraid, I was ashamed. Talking to someone about what you have experienced takes a lot of strength. I didn't have that power. Today I know that was a mistake. I should have got help right after that."

WDR: What do you want to say to other women?

Anna: "You are not alone. There are many women who have fears like you, who feel like you and have experienced the same thing as you. Get help and try to talk. There are people who can help you."

The interview was conducted by Elli Konstantinidis.