How can I get calm inside

Stay calm: even in difficult situations

it is not easy to remain calm when a storm is raging around you. Some people can, but many cannot. They react to stress, traffic jams, pressure and hectic rush, irritable, with sleepless nights, panic, actionism, outbursts of anger. Chronic stress at work, overtime, stress in private life and an annoying boss - how should you? stay calm? Good question! But there are definitely solutions, as are you stay calm in difficult situations and react more calmly ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

When do we find it difficult to stay calm?

If it takes a little longer again, the environment just doesn't play along and fate lets its unjust side hang out, it can come over you: powerlessness, anger, despair. Anyway, anything but a cool head.

Quite a few react then quick-tempered, let the anger run free and ventilate their frustration loudly. Stupid if it hits completely innocent or even unsuspecting. And that happens quite often.

This is not only embarrassing for the angry man, but - depending on who it hits - also has consequences. For example, to let go of the boss and to lose control of oneselfis not a good idea. That can end with admonition and warning.

The first step towards more serenity is therefore that Identify triggersthat make it so difficult to keep calm. Of course, they are different for each person. There are, however, a few classic situations and reasons that make some feel uncomfortable.

These include, for example:

  • When there's heart and soul in it

    The more important a task or a project is to us, the greater the ambition and will to succeed (i.e. our passion), the more difficult it is to stay calm when something goes wrong. After all, we know what is at stake.

  • When we get disappointed

    The end of the day is already firmly in view, the anticipation increases. But then the good mood is ruined by a new task. The boss still has an urgent project that cannot be delayed. Instead of beer after work, there is now overtime. Again! When we look forward to something, the frustration is especially great when something comes up. This also applies to interpersonal disappointments or promises that have not been kept, as well as empty promises.

  • When we are overwhelmed

    Nobody likes to admit that he or she is overwhelmed with a situation. That is why problems are so often hushed up, hidden, denied - until they no longer work. From the Despair and powerlessness but can also quickly get angry about one's own inability. But nobody admits that - the result: the anger is directed outwards. The guilty have to come here, while the desperate take refuge in the role of victim.

Often it is our own thought traps that we fall into and get upset about things that on closer inspection just our own interpretation are - not necessarily the reality. The negative thoughts then turn into wild speculations and worst-case scenarios that ultimately result in a permanent alertness and high blood pressure culminate.

But it doesn't have to come to that ...

Stay calm: that's how it works

Unfortunately, it is not enough to just convince yourself to please stay calm may. Even the colleague's friendly voice telling you not to get so upset usually only makes it worse. Well meant, is often the little brother of Sch ...

Still, there is something you can doto stay calm even in difficult and stressful situations. The following Tips and recommendations have proven themselves:

  1. Don't act rashly

    First of all, you should gain some distance so as not to act affectively and thoughtlessly. Outdoor reactions are good for giving free rein to the pent-up frustration. But it is not uncommon for the regrets to come a few hours later or the next day at the latest. Therefore: If you notice that it is getting too much for you and the anger arises, you better get some fresh air first, take a break or take a few deep breaths. This gives you time to think carefully about your reaction and come back first of all.

  2. Talk to someone

    Shared pain is half of the pain. Same goes for anger. Talking to a colleague or friend can help you to stay calm. Instead of yelling your frustration in the face of the boss, you can first dump it on someone you trust and have it questioned. This not only has the advantage that you do not create any additional problems in the workplace. It also acts like a filter. Perhaps the other person's perception is completely different from your own.

  3. Make yourself aware of your emotion

    It just sounds contradicting itself. In fact, being aware of the frustration and anger first helps you to remain calm in difficult situations. Studies show that negative emotions have less of an impact when they are clearly stated. Do not suppress how you are feeling right now, concentrate on the emotion. Are you mad, disappointed, annoyed or angry? By making yourself aware of your feelings, you process them at the same time and no longer act in an affect.

  4. Stop negative thoughts

    "He has no idea about his job!" or "The customer is the most annoying person I know!". With such thoughts you only increase your acute frustration and think yourself in a rage. You should also refrain from generalizations. Don't tell yourself that it only ever happens to you or that your boss always behaves like this when in truth it only happens very rarely. This does not help to keep calm, it leads to the exact opposite.

  5. Write it down

    Much like talking to a friend, writing down the negative emotions can help. This process turns your inner monologue outward and makes it easier to find suitable and more objective solutions. In addition, it helps to process the anger, as these free emotions and thoughts are no longer buzzing around in the back of the head, but are put on paper in a structured manner.

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April 16, 2020Author: Jochen Mai

Jochen Mai is the founder and editor-in-chief of the career bible. The author of several books lectures at the TH Köln and is a sought-after keynote speaker, coach and consultant.

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