Do online relationships actually work?

The dangers of a relationship on the Internet

Last update: October 13, 2017

Many couples find each other on the internet these days. Often such a relationship over the Internet then turns into a long-lasting and healthy relationship, but unfortunately there are also countless cases in which a Internet relationship turned out to be a fraud.

Unfortunately, the dangers of a relationship on the Internet are commonplace. We all know that there are many people out there who lie on the internet, hide behind their monitor and pretend to be someone else, just showing their good points and hiding their weaknesses.

Conversely, when we meet someone face to face, we see both their strengths and weaknesses. If we like someone and we feel connected to them, it is because there is a fair balance between their good and bad. The less bad we discover, the greater the favor and the sooner the feeling of being in love arises. But the more weaknesses we see, the less we feel for this person, although we can still be sympathetic to them.

Relationship via the Internet - What happens when there is no physical closeness?

When the screen connects both partners, incredibly important things like body language fall by the wayside. The way we look at someone, talk, laugh, and our general appearance are very important because there has to be a physical attraction if we are to develop a relationship. The other has to have that certain something that flips a switch within us.

Of course, we all agree that no one falls in love just because of a person's looks. Getting to know someone over the Internet is still okay if we are aware that an important aspect of interpersonal relationships cannot be adequately addressed over the Internet: meeting people face to face, interacting with them. Only when both facets - those of the cyber world and the real world - unite can we actually judge whether someone suits us.

We all know someone in our circle of acquaintances who has told us that he is in love with someone he has never seen. But that is not the case at all. These feelings are solely a product of that person's imagination, a fantasy nourished by beautiful and romantic text messages that appear on the screen. Since he does not have a complete picture of this person, his mind invents one idealizes the other person and creates the perfect partnerhe longs for.

Your relationship on the internet has created problems for many people and they are now wondering how it is possible to suffer for something that was not real. Unfortunately, there are also many victims of fraud who have fallen for the beautiful pictures of a person who actually looked very different, or who hoped for the sensitivity and understanding that the written word promised but were not in reality.

It is therefore advisable not to get too fixated on contacts that were only made via the Internet, because as soon as reality comes out and we try to really get to know someone, we will get back to the ground faster than we'd like.

Are feelings that arise from internet relationships more intense?

Many people acknowledge that their feelings for someone they know from the internet are much stronger than they do for other people they actually know. That's because conventional relationships spiced with reality are, because the eyes see what there is to see, and this fact leaves less room for infinite fantasies, as is the case with pure internet relationships. But if our eyes cannot perceive reality, the mind begins to imagine something and one idealized partner to create that we would like to meet and who is our perfect match.

All of this happens subconsciously. So our minds play tricks on us and we lose ourselves in an illusion until we develop incredibly strong feelings, which makes us particularly vulnerable.

I've known cases where people have suffered a lot from being in an internet relationship. As soon as they understood what the mind was doing to you because it didn't get enough information about reality, they were able to regroup and slow down those false feelings.

Communicating with someone over the internet without ever having seen them lets us enter a fantasy world. The people most vulnerable to the dangers of a relationship on the internet tend to be dreamers who are dissatisfied with their real lives.

5 pieces of advice you should follow if you want to find love over the internet

1. Never forget that your information about a person you have met on the internet and never seen face to face is incomplete because your mind idealizes that person and gives rise to a surreal idea about them.

2. It is advisable not to let a relationship exist alone in cyberspace. It is perfectly legitimate to get to know someone through the written word, but it shouldn't take too long. The phase of getting to know each other on the screen should always aim to get closer to each other personally.

3. Don't socialize with someone who lives abroad. I know so many cases in which people have fallen in love with each other but cannot see each other because they live in different countries. So they then suffer from a love that should not be, because everyone leads their own life in their home country, has their job there and it is not possible for them to change their place of residence. You fall for an imaginary platonic love.

4.Never do anything with a married person or with someone who is in a relationship, even if that someone claims that the relationship will end soon. Many fall for these scammers who make them look good, even though they still have a partner, they are therefore not well and they are on the verge of breaking up. But in most of these cases they are just trying to convince the other so that they can cheat on their partners. In this way they get to know a huge number of people. So why seek a relationship with someone that would be complicated to begin with?

5. Always remember that you never really know who you are talking to. We can all act nice, loving, attentive and almost perfect on the screen, but someone who has a mental disorder can hide behind this profile in the partner portal, who therefore cannot commit himself in the real world or tries to find one for him to lead a decent surreal life.

The dangers of a relationship on the Internet increase when real life is unsatisfactory because we then go in search of something that we cannot find in reality. But you should be careful with this, because just as there are honest people to be found on the Internet who are worth the search, Unfortunately, there are also fraudulent, sick and disappointing people.

Images courtesy of Alexander Kuznetsov and Jenavieve Marie

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