What's your worst parenting mistake

My child was a mistake

I often sit in front of the open window, remembering how it was when you weren't with us yet. I feel the freedom. The love of life. The hatred of myself. At the end of this long chain of thoughts I keep coming back to one point - it was a mistake. You my baby was a mistake Money, love and care don't matter. You get more than enough of all of this because we all love you. More than you can ever imagine. Without you I still don't know - who I actually am. You made me who I am today when I look proudly in the mirror.

I don't miss anything in life.

Nothing. You give me all that I expect from life every day. In every single second you give me my meaning in life.

The scent of your hair. Your cheeky eyes, the little hands that hug my neck lovingly and show me how important I am for your world. The way you mumble your rice cakes with crossed legs always reminds me of how I always wanted to be big and now you are giving me back my peace after looking in vain for so long. You take my hand Take me to places I've long forgotten. In places where you learn to linger. Again and again you push things into my hand that I should deal with, cast your scrutinizing look over me, whether I am doing this to your complete satisfaction - my job.

When I let up, you nudge me and make me understand that I should continue. I have forgotten to devote myself to things that do not lead me any further. But unfortunately I always understand too late how careful they make me in detail.

I have you on my lap right now. Smell your scent. Try to hold onto him mentally, but there are no words for any of this. I can't describe how much I love you, how nice your scent in your blonde hair smells to me.

You are perfect

It has been you since your first breath. Everything about you fitted into this world, like the red poppies on the roadside. It seemed like we always waited for you. But now I realize that my deep desire to have you seems to be a mistake. It was too early for us. Money, love and the right kind of upbringing grow into all of this or get it supplied free of charge, because I adore you since the first breath of your little lungs.

You are my world, but it was too early for us. For your parents. For the couple who should show you how to do with love. We weren't ready yet. Often neither of them can take care of the other well enough. Have always loved us, but failed because of the tiniest little things. Today you get all of that. Watch your parents argue and soak it up like a little sponge.

My impatience when something unspoken is in the air. It never has anything to do with you and yet I noticehow your world is shaping up. How strife and resentment cloud your mood. How you get to know all of these things way too early. It belongs to it, my darling, but you shouldn't get to know it at this tender age at which the switches of your basic trust be placed.

One can say "it doesn't matter". It is part of it. Those few hours that are not what they should be, but I see you. I see your position in life. You get very on me. The way we take our world You always take it happily, but in essence you are a little melancholy. You're a sponge that soaks up what it can get. A being full of curiosity and a thirst for life.

I know you because in you, in your sparkling eyes I discover my hunger for life.

Today I am sitting here at my open window and think it was too early for us. We haven't found ourselves in our couple role yet. We accept the other, but not their weaknesses. We want to bend it, break it and put it back together - just as it suits us best. We are full of hope for what may come, but not ready to give up. The we wasn't ready yet. Everyone was talking about that we won't have any money, but how can care, harmony and a healthy base be bought for you?

We don't need a lot of money to make you happy. Need strength and courage to believe in us. We are ready to fight. For you and a life in our own family, because I want the most beautiful world for you that I can create for you with my own hands. Life comes into play soon enough. I won't be able to protect you from everything, but I would like to give you the confidence to have a basis.

Because no matter what when at the end of the day you lie in my arms I know that you are the best that this world has ever housed.

The timing will never be right, but we should keep asking ourselves whether what we do is in the best interests of our children. You don't need a lot. No money. Not a lot of toys, but they need parents who believe in them. Who believe in themselves and their relationship. They show that love moves mountains and that there is a force in life that is worth believing in.


In love,

I am 32 years old. Mom of two children. A son (01/14) and a little daughter (08/16). We live together on the outskirts of Cologne. Stroll through the woods, cook, bake and dance together. I started my blog on a cool February morning in 2014, when, after the birth of my first child, I thought again: "As we see it, many other parents are out there, why isn't anyone talking about it?" At that moment I made the decision and revealed to my partner: "Darling? I'm blogging - now!" and that was the hour of birth of my mum blog. Nice that you found your way to me!